


21 Days

by tqt13rocks



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Character Death, F/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Possessive Behavior, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-09-12 13:49:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 42,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9074635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tqt13rocks/pseuds/tqt13rocks
Summary: "21 days, Leah," she told her self, "you just have to last 21 days." As she started to drift asleep, she hoped, for what felt like the millionth time in 4 months, that she didn't wake up.Leah enters her first heat cycle.





	1. Day 1: The Beginning Of The End

**Author's Note:**

> Story begins during Eclipse; sometime in July, after the battle with Victoria’s newborn army, but before Jacob gets Edward and Bella’s wedding invitation.

 

 

Leah woke up feeling very… strange. She wasn't angry, which was how she usually woke up feeling, but she just couldn't put her finger on what was wrong. She stayed in bed for a few minutes, trying to figure it out, but soon gave up, and just laid there. She tried to go back to sleep, but it soon became obvious that it wasn't going to happen. With the great sigh, she rolled out of bed, and reluctantly went about her day.

At 20 years old, Leah had already graduated high school and had become accustomed to taking her time in the mornings. Of course, that was before she had gotten a job. Leah looked at the clock with a heavy sigh, and thought about not going, but she couldn't get fired from another job, she couldn't afford it. Like, literally, she couldn't afford it. The empty pickle jar she was using as a makeshift piggy bank was starting to look depressingly empty. If she ever wanted to get out of the hell-hole known as La Push, and she _definitely_ did, then she needed all the cash she could get her hands on.

Leah grabbed her clothes and headed towards the bathroom, encountering Seth in hallway. She offered her usual grunt by way of greeting, 8:30 in the morning was too early for Seth to have a grasp on the English language, but instead of grunting back, he stopped in his tracks, causing Leah to bump into him.

"God dammit, Seth!" Leah fumbled with her clothes, finally catching them before they fell to the floor. "What gives?" Seth ignored her, and leaned forward, inhaling. His eyebrows knitted together, and he began circling her slowly, still sniffing.

Leah stood still, confused as to what the hell her little brother was doing, before she got tired of waiting for an explanation and grabbed him by his shoulders.

"Seth, what the hell is wrong with you?"

He looked up at her slowly. "You smell."

Leah raised an eyebrow, then leaned to sniff her armpit. She hadn't showered yet, but she didn't think she smelled _that_ bad.

"No," Seth laughed, "I meant you smell different."

"I do? Different how?"

Seth shrugged. "I don't know, just… different."

"Right… Well, me and my different smelling self have to go shower before I'm late for work. Again" She walked passed him and to the bathroom. She turned the shower to its hottest setting, which wasn't nearly hot enough, and hopped in. She sighed as the water ran over her short-cropped hair and over her body. She loved her morning shower. It was peaceful, relaxing.

Leah lathered her body with soap, starting with her arms, then moving across her chest. The second the netted material of shower poof touched her nipples, she was hit with a wave of pleasure that was nearly strong enough to bring her to her knees.

She grabbed at the old people safety bar her father had put in a few years ago, silently regretting making fun of for it back then, as she caught her breath and wondered what the hell was going on. She figured that it must have been because she had gotten laid in a while, nothing more than that. Then she started thinking about when the last time was, and more specifically, who the last time was _with._ Sam, in his bed, the day before Emily showed up to ruin her life.

This memory didn't trigger anger, like it's usually did whenever she thought about it in a moment of weakness. Instead, it triggered lust. Lots and lots of lust. She thought of the way Sam's brand new wolf muscles glistened with sweat as he pounded into her over and over again, and she started to feel a wetness between her legs that wasn't from the shower.

Leah suddenly had the urge to touch herself, an urge she hadn't had since she phased 4 months ago, and it only seemed to get stronger the longer she wasn't doing it. Despite the fact that she had braced herself, it didn't stop her from being terribly unprepared for the feeling, and crying out from the sheer force of it. A knock on the door brought her out of… whatever was happening, and she couldn't decide if she was relieved or disappointed.

"Leah?" Sue Clearwater called out from behind the door. "What's going on in there?"

"Nothing!" Leah replied quickly, "I… slipped. I'm alright, mom."

"Well hurry up, you're going to be late for work. Again."

Leah sighed, but picked up the shower poof and quickly resumed washing herself. She made sure to think of absolutely anything but sex, her ex-boyfriend, or sex with her ex-boyfriend.

* * *

It was nearing 9:30, and Leah was late for work. Again. At this point, she didn't see how rushing was going to accomplish anything, so she took her sweet time getting there. Since she wasn't rushing, she could really appreciate the beauty of the forest that was every La Push residents' backyard. She had always loved nature, there was something about the earth smells and the sounds of the woodland creatures that she found very relaxing.

And the experience was all the more calming for her, thanks to her enhanced senses. The amount of time she got to spend in the woods was one of the only redeeming qualities about transforming into a freakish, mutant dog.

She felt her serenity decrease once she got close to Jared's house. What was he doing up? They were in the midst of summer, and the pack usually slept I until at least noon. _Right,_ she thought to herself, _there was a meeting today._ Most pack meetings were uneventful; just Sam telling them that weeks patrol schedule and then the pack usually hung out for a while after. Leah had taken to skipping them and having Seth pass along the her schedule. It kept her interaction with the rest of them to a bare minimum.

They made eye-contact, which Leah broke with a roll of hers, and she kept moving, intending on walking right past her pack 'brother', but instead, Jared decided to block her path with his overgrown body.

"Move," Leah said, not bothering with pleasantries.

Instead of answering, Jared leaned in and inhaled deeply. Leah was just about to hurl an insult his way, when she noticed the look in his eyes. Now, Leah has only been with one guy, but she's been on the radar of a few in her time. She recognized the look instantly, and a quick look at the tent in the younger boys cut-off shorts confirmed that yes, he was turned on. Gross.

"Leah, you smell amazing," Jared said. he started walking towards her, and she started backing up.

"Thanks, I took this thing called a shower. You try it."

Jared ignored the insult. "You know, I don't think I've ever told you how sexy I think you are."

"I don't think Kim would appreciate you saying that." Leah didn't give two shits about Kim. It was nothing personal, the girl was nice enough, Leah just disliked all imprints in general, but Jared was obsessed with the girl. Leah thought that bringing her up would stop Jared from acting like a creeper.

Jared laughed, and it wasn't a regular laugh, it was the kind of laugh that mentally unhinged people have. "What Kim doesn't know, wont hurt her."

Jared was still advancing, but she made sure her face didn't show it. "Get out of my way, Jared."

"Make me," he said with a smirk. He reached a hand out to grab her arm, causing Leah to panic, and before she knew it, Jared was on the ground, clutching his manhood in agony.

Leah didn't waste anytime stepping over him, and continuing on her way to work, much quicker than before. The trees suddenly didn't seem quite as beautiful.

* * *

"So... how have you been?"

"You mean since you asked yesterday?," Leah asked sarcastically. "Well, I got married, popped out a couple kids, and now we're all moving to Idaho. How about _you_ swan? How have _you_ been?"

"Um, fine. I-I've been fine."

Leah rolled her eyes before going back to her reading. When she had first found out that Bella Swan was working at Newton's Olympic Outfitters, it was almost enough for her to not take the job, but she didn't have any other options. No one on the Rez would hire her due to her infamous bad attitude, and Newton's was the only place hiring in Forks. If she didn't take the job, she would have had to drive into Port Angeles everyday, which is pretty hard to do if you don't have a car.

Leah could admit that she didn't hate her job _too_ much, she didn't really have to do a lot since not too many people came in anyway, it was sitting next to Swan behind the cashier's counter everyday that got to her. She had this need to try and fill every silence, which, as someone who actually _liked_ silence, annoyed Leah to no end. She used to work after school, meaning Leah was out before Swan got in, but not anymore. She was starting to hate summer break.

The bosses kid came from the stock room to harass Bella, which was mildly entertaining. Leah kept her eyes in her book, but listened in.

"Hey, Bella, how's it going?"

"Pretty good, how's everythi-"

"Great! So listen, if you didn't have anything to do later, I was thinking we could go catch a movie or something."

"Um, I don't think that's going to work out, Mike. I mean, I'm dating Edward and all..."

"O-Oh yeah, totally, so glad you two are back together by the way. But yeah I totally meant as friends."

"Well, sure, sounds like fun. Hey, maybe Angela and the gang could come too?"

"Yeah... maybe." Mike scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, blushing bright red when he caught Leah's smirking gaze, she had abandoned pretending to not care and was watching the train wreck full-on, before returning to the stock room.

Leah tried to go back to her book, but something about the exchange, other than how hilariously pathetic Mike was, got to her. She couldn't stay silent. "Why don't you just tell the kid you're not into him?"

Bella looked around the empty store, Leah hardly ever initiated conversation between them, before answering. "I've been trying, but he doesn't seem to get the hint."

"Guys like him never do. That's way you've gotta be blunt about it. To let him walk around thinking you're going to wake up one day and leave you're mind-raping leach for him is just cruel. Put the poor kid out of his misery already."

Leah wasn't talking about Mike anymore, and Bella, smart girl that she was, picked up on it. Her shoulders slumped and her voice took on a sadder quality.

"I know that, Leah. But he's my best friend, I don't want to hurt him."

"You already are. Every single day. Hurry up and rip that band-aid off already." Leah closed her book and stood from her stool. "I'm going on my break."

She walked out the back door and leaned against the wall. She took a pack of cigarets from her pocket and lit one. She had planned on quitting before she phased, but didn't see the point know, her lungs were already good as new. A sigh of pleasure escaped her as she sucked in the smoke, but she tensed when she heard footsteps approaching. She relaxed once she realized who it was.

"Why didn't you go to the meeting, Embry?" She asked, looking at the time on her phone. She glanced at the time on her phone, 11:37. The pack usually hung out at Sam and Emily's until about 2. the mooches would stick around until they ate Emily out of house and home, or Sam kicked them out. Embry was shirtless, as they all almost always were, but he was wearing a pair of swim trunks and sun glasses instead of the typical cut-offs. There was a beach towel slung over his shoulder.

"I decided to ditch today," he said as he leaned on the wall next to her. "It would be a waste of a sunny day to watch Jared and Kim dry-hump for half the day. If we didn't meet at Emily's house I'd propose that imprints be banned from pack meetings.

Leah snorted. "Life's just a bitch like that, throwing sickeningly happy couples in your face when you're forever alone." Leah was bitchy to everyone else, but she only ever let herself wallow in self pity around Embry. She didn't want anyone to know how bitter and lonely she was, but anyone with eyes could figure it out.

Leah trusted Embry, other than Seth, he was the only wolf she let in. she actually considered him a friend, had every since he told her he liked boys. She had no idea why he felt comfortable confiding in _her_ of all people, but she was glad for it. The two had bonded over imprinting of all things. Or, the lack of imprinting rather.

The elders had told them all that the point of imprinting was so a wolf can find the best possible mate to continue their species. Since phasing made Leah barren, and two boys couldn't make butt-babies, they were both pretty much screwed in the imprinting department.

"I get that they're in love and shit, and I don't hold it against them...much, but it makes me wanna puke whenever they make out in front of me."

"That's how I feel whenever I see Sam and Emily together. Except instead of puking I wanna punch Emily in the face."

"It wasn't really her fault, you know," Embry said hesitantly, like he thought she'd punch _him_ in the face, "Sam's either."

"Yeah, I know," she had stayed up many a night obsessing over just how _not_ anyone's fault it all was, "knowing that doesn't make it hurt any less."

The silence lingered, more awkward than it had been between them in a while, so Leah decided to change the subject. "Hey, do I smell any different?"

Embry raised an eyebrow, but leaned over to sniff her anyway. "A little, I guess," he shrugged, "Like you switched your shampoo or something?"

Leah shook her head. "This morning Seth said I smelled 'different', but I didn't pay it too much attention since he can barely remember his own name that early, but then, when I was walking here, Jared got all creepy and started hitting on me. Saying I smelt 'Amazing'."

"Hitting on you?" Embry asked, skepticism written all over his face, "You're sure?"

"Yeah. I thought that maybe it was a prank, or one of the other idiots dared him or something, but he was dead serious."

"What about Kim? Jared would go through hell and back for that girl."

"I brought her up and he said, 'what Kim doesn't know, won't hurt her'. Now tell me that's not creepy."

"It is...," he conceded, "But still, he imprinted, why would he-"

"He was, Embry" Leah snapped, starting to feel a little offended. "Just because it's been a while, doesn't mean I can't tell when a guy wants me."

"Okay, okay, I believe you. So, what happened after you told him to fuck off?"

"I kicked him in the balls."

Embry's mouth fell open, then he closed it with a snap and a shake of his head, as if he should have known she would do that in the first place. "Well, maybe you should talk to the elders about it."

Leah snorted, "What, so they can poke and prod at me like a fucking frog in biology class? Hell no, I'm not their science experiment." She silently fumed while ignoring Embry's eyes on her. After a moment, she sighed and met his gaze.

"Look, I get why you hate it, I would to, but you're the first female wolf in our tribe's history. They have to figure shit out with you, so you kinda are an experiment. You should be proud."

"Of what?" Leah asked with a snort, "what the fuck am I supposed to be proud about?"

"By going through this, any future she-wolves we get won't have to. You're paving the way for them, and _that's_ what you should be proud about."

Leah frowned. She had never thought of it that way. She had started planning on ditching La Push ever since Sam and Emily happened, and her resolve had only gotten stronger when she phased. She didn't care who'd get left behind, who'd end up needing her.

"I'll talk to them," she said, more to herself than Embry, "Right after my shift is over."

"Cool." Embry said hiding his smile so she wouldn't snap at him again. "Hey when is you're break supposed to be over?"

Leah checked her phone. "Ten minutes ago. Fuck, I gotta go, see ya. "

"Later," Embry laughed, watching her leave, cursing all the way back into the store.

* * *

Leah closed her front door with a sigh of relief. Another 9 to 5 done. She kicked her shoes off at the bottom of the stairs, then headed up. She fully intended on curling up in her bed and getting to sleep before having to do it all over again, but an impatient clearing of an old, raspy throat stopped her. She looked over her shoulder to see Billy and Old Quil sitting on her couch staring at her.

With a heavy sigh she turned and plopped down in her, formerly her father's, old recliner. She immediately regretted sending Quil a text to have his grandpa arrange an elder meeting, she was really not in the mood for them. The three sat in awkward silence, on Leah's part anyway, until Sue came in with two glasses of lemonade for her 'guests'. Personally, Leah thought the two had been there enough times to walk... and roll, their asses to the kitchen and get a drink themselves.

"So, Leah, what seems to be the problem?" Sue asked as she sat down.

Leah faltered a bit, still not used to how quickly her mother could switch into pack elder mode. "So, this morning I didn't feel right when I woke up. I don't know what was wrong exactly, but it wasn't right. Then Seth's all 'you smell different, not bad, just different.'"

She paused a second, wondering if she should bring up Jared, then decided against it. "Then on my break at work, I saw Embry, and he said the same thing. He said I should talk to you guys about it, so here we are."

After confirming, twice, that no, she hasn't changed shampoos, they reached a conclusion, no one had a clue what the fuck was happening. Leah was just about to say, 'well, thanks for nothing', before Old Quil spoke.

"Girl, if there's anything, anything at all, you're keeping to yourself, speak now."

Leah hesitated, she didn't want to tell them about Jared because, for one, she was embarrassed at how much the incident got to her, and also, she had a feeling they wouldn't believe her like Embry hadn't.

"When I was walking to work," She said with her head down, "I saw Jared. He sorta, well he definitely... hit on me. At first I thought it was some stupid joke, but he was serious. He kept saying how good I smelled. The look in his eyes though, it scared me."

She felt so weak admitting it to them. Leah despised feeling weak.

"I threatened to tell Kim, and he just brushed it off, as if he wasn't nauseatingly in love with her. He wouldn't let me pass, so I kicked him in the balls and left. That's all."

Her mom and Billy looked disbelieving, she knew they would, but Old Quil's already hard look intensified.

"Have been feeling more aroused than usual?" All eyes snapped to him like he had grown a second head. "Honestly people, I wouldn't have asked if it wasn't important. Well, have you then?"

Leah raised an eyebrow, but bit back a 'perverted old man' comment. "it's none of your business, but yeah. This morning in the shower." She ignored her mother's look of realization. "Now what the hell does that have to do with anything?"

"I means that you're not too far along in your heat cycle yet. Now we can prepare."

The room was silent as everyone processed what was said. Billy was the first to speak. "Heat cycle? I didn't think that was possible."

The old man rolled his eyes. "You are the chief of a reservation that's home to a pack of werewolves that kill vampires. Anything is possible."

"But there's no record of this," Sue said, "I've read through all the archives and haven't seen-"

"There was no record of a female shifter until 4 months ago either. We've reached uncharted territory here people, try to keep up."

"Wait a minute," Leah said, speaking slowly, "what you're trying to tell me is that I'm in heat? Like a fucking _dog_?"

"No, of course not," Old Quil said with another roll of his eyes, "You're in heat like a fucking wolf."

Leah lunged for the man, fully prepared to snap his weak little neck like a twig for mocking her, but luckily for him, Seth walked through the door at exactly that moment and held her back. "What's going on Lee? Why are you trying to kill Quil's grandpa?"

Leah brushed him off and began pacing the floor. It's what she did to calm herself down so she wouldn't phase. It worked most of the time. "So what, I'm gonna be extra horny for a while? That all?" she absently heard Seth mumble 'gross', under his breath and leave the house just as quickly as he came.

"That's the gist of it, yes. Although, I don't know for certain, based on the symptoms you're displaying, it'd be my best guess."

The fact that all they had to go on was a guess depressed her deeply. Leah Clearwater was basically a walking, shit-talking science experiment.

"Well, isn't this just fucking great!" She went back to pacing the floor, talking more to herself than the others. "I was just starting to get used to this wolf crap, just starting to think everything would be alright, and BAM! The universe has to throw a fucking monkey wrench in the plans."

The room was silent as Leah fumed. Old Quil patiently waited for her to calm enough for him to speak. "Look, girl, I know that you never wanted this, and I realize that it's very hard on you, but this is the hand you've been dealt in life. You can either play it, or fold. I never pegged you as a quitter, was I wrong?"

Leah always did respond positively to directness, and it got through to her this time as well. She sat back down in her recliner and motioned for Old Quil to continue.

"A female wolf's heat cycle lasts, approximately, 21 days. We'll assume this is day one. Your scent has become appealing to your pack mates, and the attraction will become stronger as time goes on. This applies to _all_ your pack mates, regardless of their imprints, the exception being your brother."

Leah and sue released twin sighs of relief. They had enough going on without the added risk of incest.

"But what of Embry?" Billy asked, "Leah said he reacted to her scent in the same way Seth did."

"Well," the old man said, pausing to take a long sip of his lemonade, "I have two theories on that. Either Embry is Harry's illegitimate son, or-"

"He is _not_ ," Sue said with a bite in her tone and a fire in her eyes that Leah hadn't seen since her father passed.

Though the subject was taboo, everyone in La Push knew that Tiffany Call claimed to not know who her son's father was, but those in on the werewolf secret knew that, since Embry was able to phase, his father had to have been either Sam's, Quil's, Jacob's or Leah and Seth's fathers.

"I can't speak for anyone else's husband," Sue continued, with a pointed look at Billy, which he met with one of his own, "But _mine_ would have never cheated on me." and just like that, the fire was gone, and Sue was back to the pleasantly vacant woman she was before.

Old Quil placed a hand on Sue's thigh. "I'm not saying he did, Sue, I was just throwing the option out there. Option two is that he's gay. If the boy has no interest in women, then neither will his wolf."

They all looked at Leah, knowing that her and Embry were close, for an answer. "I don't see how that's any of your business," she said defensively, which pretty much gave them their answer. Fuck. She would have to warn Embry and apologize before this came out, no pun intended.

"Well, that's settled," Old Quil said dismissively, though Leah could tell how much he couldn't wait to tell his poker buddies all about it. The old man gossiped like a school girl, it a miracle he hasn't blabbed about the pack to the whole reservation.

"As a female wolf, the males, excluding Seth and Embry, will want to mate with you. The alpha male has first pick of the females, or female in this case, so..."

He drifted off to let Leah fill in the blanks, and her heart sank when she did. She was finally over Sam, well, she over wanting to _be_ with Sam, the bitter feeling of rejection had yet to fade, and now she was expected to _mate_ with him? Wasn't being stuck in his pack and having his disgusting thoughts about Emily in her head enough?

"So I have to... _mate_ , with him whether I want to or not? Isn't that called rape?"

Old Quil shook his head. "The longer you are in heat the more aroused you will feel, and the more your scent will affect your pack mates. Your inner wolf will need to mate, and her needs will cloud your judgment. Your wolf will seek out, and only accept the strongest male in the pack to breed with her, and Sam will be more than happy to oblige."

Leah's heart stopped at the word 'breed', but before she could question it, Billy spoke.

"You're forgetting something, Quil, Sam isn't the true alpha, Jacob is. If Sam tries to claim Leah, Jacob will challenge him, and if Jacob challenges him-"

"Sam will lose," Leah finished for him. The first thought she had was that she'd much rather be claimed by Jake than Sam. The second thought was how stupid the first was, because _no one_ owned Leah Clearwater. "So, what now? What the _hell_ am I supposed to do now?"

The three looked at each other, before silently agreeing that Sue should take the lead. "Well, sweetheart, you can either accept this and go find Jacob right now. He'll take over as alpha, and stake his claim to the rest of the pack. Or, you can try to avoid the other wolves for the next 21 days. And if you manage it, you'll have to do it again the next time you go into heat. The choice is yours, and we'll support you no matter what."

Leah thought hard. Realistically, submitting to Jake would be the best option. The reservation was only so big, she was bound to run into one of the pack eventually. And even if she _did_ manage to avoid them, how many heat cycles could she make it through before her luck ran out? But her heart was telling her to fight this shitty situation with everything she had. Leah's made it 20 years without being a quitter, she'd be damned if she started now.

"I'm not gonna be claimed by anyone because I don't want to. I don't give a rat's ass what my inner wolf wants or needs because it's not the one in control here, I am. I'm not an animal, even if I am forced to turn into one."

Leah turned and walked upstairs to her bedroom, slamming her door when she got there. She shoved her headphones into her ears to drown out the voices talking about her behind her back. She thought about calling Embry, but decided against it. She'd see him tomorrow. She thought about packing a bag and going... _anywhere else_ , but knew that the 300 bucks in her pickle jar wouldn't last her 3 days with the amount of food she ate.

She decided to go to bed early, and deal with this shit-storm in the morning. "21 days, Leah," she told her self, "you just have to last 21 days _."_ As she started to drift asleep, she hoped, for what felt like the millionth time in 4 months, that she didn't wake up.

 


	2. Day 2: Close, But No Cigar

 

The blaring of her alarm caused Leah's eyes to snap open. She noted five things: she was still alive, her dad was still dead, she was still a wolf, she was still in heat, and her life _still_ sucked ass. She shifted slightly, which caused her panties to rub against her. They were stiff, and she realized that she must have had a wet dream. Her, a 20 year old woman, having wet dreams. That wasn't embarrassing at all.

She tried to ignore it, but the underwear caused a friction that was too interesting to not give her undivided attention. She closed her eyes and listened closely. She cold only hear the sound of one person breathing, Seth, so her mom must have went to Charlie Swan's house after she went to sleep. She liked to pretend that she only went over there to make him meals, but that was total bull, he had his daughter after all. Sue was just too proud, Leah must have gotten it from her, to admit that she was lonely. The kind of company she needed, her children couldn't provide.

Leah closed her eyes again and slowly slid her hand down into her panties. As her hand moved, she thought of her dream, what she could remember. It was a guy, definitely, his skin was the familiar reddish-brown of someone from La push. It was like a camera panning up slowly, starting with the guy's _very_ impressive cock, up to the 'v' of his hips, stopping right at the perfect set of abs. Try as she might, she couldn't get anything else.

She continued, focusing on this mystery guy's awesome six pack. She moved her hand faster lost in feel of it. She couldn't believe it's been six whole months since she'd done this, just the thought of going another day without feeling this amazing made her whimper. Her mystery guy was sweating, Leah watched a bead of it as it trailed over the space between his abs, and the guy gave a low, deep, moan. That sight set her off, and Leah exploded, the feeling so intense she saw stars.

She laid there for a while, just basking in the afterglow. Her alarm sounded again, and as she turned it off, she noticed that only five minutes had past. It felt like hours. Hours and hours of pure bliss.

She kicked her covers off, suddenly feeling stifled, and threw her soiled panties in the hamper. She wrapped herself in her robe, and headed to the bathroom, banging on Seth's door on the way. "Mom's not here kid, so you're on you're own for breakfast. I'm going to work you up." She waited for his answering grunt, then headed for a nice, hot shower.

* * *

For the first time since her first day, Leah walked into work on time, and with a smile on her face. Mike and Bella looked like they'd seen a ghost. "Good morning, Leah," Bella said hesitantly.

"It is, actually," Leah replied as Bella sat down next to her. She noticed the tinge of red on the girl's usually pale lips. "You don't look nearly as dead as usual."

"Uh, thanks, I guess. It's not really my thing, but Alice insisted. You look good today too. I mean, not that you usually look _bad_ or anything, just-"

"Yeah, I get it. Thanks. Was my mom still at your place when you left this morning?"

"Yeah, she was..." Bella paused for a second. Leah gave her a 'spit it out', look. "They've been spending a lot of... time, together lately."

"We're both adults here, you can say they've been fucking."

Disgust crossed her face. "Yeah, but I knew that would make me picture it, so thanks for that."

"No problem," Leah answered with a smirk. "Well, good for them, I say. As gross as old people sex is, I'm glad someone's helping her get over my dad a little." For a second, Leah was a little jealous. She had tried to comfort her mother, but she was always brushed off.

"Yeah, Dad's been happier too. It's nice that they have each other."

Conversation trailed off as Mike came up from the back room. He started to stock the shelves and shamelessly flirt with Bella while ignoring Leah completely. Fine by her, she was feeling nice enough to chit-chat with Bella for a bit, but Newton was a whole other level of annoying.

Time actually passed pretty quickly, and soon enough, it was time to go. She raised a hand over her shoulder as Bella said goodbye, then headed towards Embry's house. She had to tell him about last night, _everything_ about last night. She hoped he wouldn't be too pissed, it would suck to lose the only friend she had left.

It didn't take her long to get there, and she was 'warmly' greeted by his mother.

"Oh... Leah. Embry's out. I'm not sure when he'll be back, but I'll tell him you stopped by."

Leah puled out her phone and texted him, as she said, "I'll wait for him."

Tiffany Call frowned, trying to decide if she should invite her in or not. Leah saved her the trouble, and went to sit on the porch steps.

Leah was used to that reaction from parents. The ironic part was that they all used to love her. She used to be a lot like Seth, all smiles and kindness all the time, old people ate that shit up. When Sam dumped her for her cousin, everyone knew about it. They would give her sad smiles on the street, and give their condolences like someone had died. They pitied her, and she fucking hated it.

She started bitching out anyone who told her they were sorry, and pretty soon, all she got on the street were frowns of disapproval. Leah's bad reputation followed her everywhere she went on the Rez, and sometimes in Forks, another reason she was eager to leave. She needed a fresh start, in a fresh place, with fresh people.

"Hey," Embry said as he sat down next to her, "so, did I develop x-ray vision over night, or is my mom pretending the window is a two way mirror?"

Leah looked over her shoulder, and sure enough, Embry's mom was glaring at her through the window. Leah waved. Ms. Call closed the blinds. "So, I talked to the elders. Apparently, I'm in heat."

"What, like a dog?"

"Like a wolf," she said with a sigh.

She filled him in on everything they discussed the night before, and exactly what it all meant for her. Embry placed a comforting hand on her thigh as she got a little more emotional than she wanted to. After she had finished, Embry was silent. He seemed like he was choosing his words very carefully.

"So, to be clear, you're in heat, which makes you and all the guys incredibly horny, and if you let them, they'd all bang you, even if they've already imprinted?"

"Yup," Leah sighed, "that about covers it. You and Seth won't be affected, though."

"Thank god!" Embry said with way to much enthusiasm for her taste. "No offense though, it's just that you're not really my type. But if I was into chicks it'd be my honor to bang you."

Leah snorted, then remembered the other reason she needed to talk to him. "Um, about your type, the topic actually came up last night."

Embry tensed, his voice tight. "Really? How so?"

"Well, I told them how you and Seth didn't go psycho on me like Jared did, And old Quil said that it was either because you're my half-brother," Leah noticed Embry got even tenser, "or because you didn't like girls."

"And what was the verdict?" It was a rhetorical question. He sounded so sad, Leah almost wanted to lie to him.

"Mom squashed the half- brother thing ass soon as it was brought up, and when I told them to butt out of other people's business, I kinda made it obvious."

"Oh. That's why people have been starring at me more than usual today. Old Quil works fast."

The silenced stretched on for at least twenty minutes, Leah felt guiltier and guiltier every second. Tension hung thick in the air as Leah waited for him to speak.

"Look, Em, I'm really sorry."

"Don't be." He gave her a sad smile. "I know you didn't mean to. I'm actually glad this happened."

Leah quirked an eyebrow. "Okay, I'm lost. Why is me inadvertently outing you a good thing?"

"Did you think I was gay before I told you?"

"No." Leah was a little shocked when Embry came out to her. Even with the pack mind, there was never any hints.

"No one else does... _did_ , either. I'm not super effeminate or flamboyant, I could've kept having tea with Mr. Tumnus for the rest of my life if I wanted to, and I probably would have. I would've ended up one of those guys who only come out after their wives catch them fucking the pool boy. So, thanks for forcing me to man up, I guess."

"You're welcome, I guess. And you would've come out eventually, Em."

"Yeah, I'm glad one of us thinks that." He plastered a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes on his face. "So, let's talk about you now. You're smart enough to realize that you can't avoid the rest of the guys forever, so why do you insist on trying?"

"Pride mostly," Leah shrugged, "When it's all said and done, I want to be able to say I stayed strong through all this crap."

"Well, that's noble of you. Or stupid. I'll think about it and let you know which."

Leah smiled. "I'll be waiting by the phone."

* * *

Leah and Embry talked for a while longer, until his mom announced that dinner was ready. Leah wasn't invited to stay. She wasn't ready to go home yet, so she decided to walk to first beach instead.

As she laid back in the sand, Leah thought about a word old Quil had said last night that she had been somewhat repressing; breed.

Old Quil had said that Lea's inner wolf would seek out the best possible mate to breed with, which sounded a lot like imprinting to her. She'd have to remember to ask old Quil to explain a little more. The thought wasn't really all that bad, Leah had always wanted a family of her own. When she was a little girl she would play with her baby dolls and dream of how she wanted her life to be, the perfect husband (tall, dark, and handsome), the perfect kids (a girl and a boy like her and Seth), the perfect house (three floors, with a big yard for the kids to play), the perfect everything.

That was a long time ago though, and as she grew up, she realized that nothing is ever perfect, but she still wanted everything as close to it as she could. Most people would be surprised that Leah would want a life so domesticated, but it had always been a dream of hers.

The reason she didn't want to think about _that word_ , was that she had given up those dreams four months ago. When Leah and Seth phased they were told that, as long as they kept phasing, their bodies would freeze in time. She didn't think it would apply to her menstrual cycle as well. They told her that she would be barren until she could control the urge to shift. Leah didn't ever think that would happen, she was self-aware enough to realize that until she got over the anger and resentment she had for Sam, Emily, and her wolf, she'd never be able to stop shifting.

The point is that she had given up on being a mother for the foreseeable future, so knowing that is was actually attainable scared the shit out of her. What if she wasn't as good a mother as she thought she'd be? What if Sam ended up being the kid's dad? What if she passed the wolf gene down to them? Both the kids parents would be wolves, she couldn't help but think that the kid would be one too. She didn't want her children to have to deal with this crap if they didn't want to, god knew if she had a choice she definitely would have turned it down.

Leah closed her eyes tight, it was all to much, too fast. She was completely overwhelmed and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

* * *

It was sometime after midnight when Leah woke up, realizing she had fallen asleep on the beach. She would do that when she was younger, whenever she got in trouble with her mom, or Seth annoyed her. Her dad would always come find her, and carry her home. She was walking now.

She made sure to avoid the pack's houses by going through the woods. It took longer, but it got the job done. She was just coming through the trees behind her house when she smelled Jake's scent. He was here, in her house.

She turned and ran back the way she came, feeling betrayed. She didn't know why Jake was there this time of morning, but it's not like he broke in, someone knew he was there, and they couldn't even send her a warning text. And here she thought she could count on her own family. It was stupid of her to trust them, the only person she could rely on was herself.

She ran deep into the forest, not stopping until she was forced to in order to catch her breath. She sank to the ground, her back against a large tree. Leah was proud of herself, she had a close call, but in the end she managed to come out on top. This gave her a much needed confidence boost, she could make it. As long as she kept her wits about her, trusted her instincts, and paid attention to her surroundings, she was confident that she'd be able to-

"Lee-Lee, you smell amazing."

Fuck.

Leah shook her head at the irony, just as she's telling herself to pay attention to her surroundings, she fails to notice the one scent she should be able to recognize anywhere.

She looked up slowly to see Sam Uley looming over her.

 


	3. Day 3: How Rude!

 

Leah cursed her own stupidity as she quickly scrambled to her feet **.** She was so close to being safe, for the night anyway, but just like everything else, Sam just had to go and fuck it up. Why couldn't he just leave her alone?

"First off, I told not to call me that anymore, and second, as much as I just _love_ your company, I really have to be going."

Leah kept her shield of sarcasm up, but was freaking out just beneath the surface. If Sam acted anything like Jared, and judging by the lustful look in his eyes, he would, she was fucked, probably literally. Sam was bigger and stronger than everyone in the pack, besides Jake, and had the added advantage of being able to force Leah to do anything he wanted. She had to figure out a way out of this.

Alpha voice aside, if Leah was being honest with herself, and she rarely was, she wasn't confident in her ability to turn him down. She'd always had a hard time denying Sam anything. When he started to move towards her, slowly, like a predator stalking its prey, Leah couldn't will her legs to move. Smirking, Sam called her out on it.

"Doesn't seem like you're in a hurry to me, _Lee-Lee."_

As Sam closed the last few inches of space between them, backing Leah up against the tree and pressing their bodies together, he leaned in and took another long sniff.

"Sam..., "Leah started, but trailed off when she realized that it sounded much more like a moan than a warning.

"I missed you so bad Lee-Lee."

"But, Emily..." Leah moaned out loud as Sam started to kiss that spot on her neck, the one that always drove her crazy.

"Who cares about Emily? It's you that I want, Lee-Lee, it's always been you."

If he had said those words to her two days ago, before she had found out about all this heat bullshit, Leah would have Leaves in her hair and rocks digging into her back by now, but this wasn't real. What Sam was feeling, and what she was feeling, was all a lie.

Sam stopped kissing to look into Leah's eyes. "You missed me too, didn't you?"

She did. Leah missed him so fucking bad, but she had way to much pride to actually say _-_

"Of course I have, Sammy."

What the hell? Where did that come-

 _Quiet, Girl,_ A voice hissed in her head, _I won't let you ruin this for us._

Leah definitely wasn't in the mood anymore, and started to push Sam away. He didn't budge. Leah was starting to panic, when a deep, rumbling growl sounded. Leah looked over Sam's shoulder to see a big, russet-brown wolf ready to tear Sam apart.

She couldn't figure out if that was a good thing or not.

* * *

_Just look at them, the anger, the aggression, and all that lust. It's all for us._

Leah watched the two largest wolves circle each other, hackles raised, along with the rest of the pack. Jake issuing the challenge seemed to summon the others. They were all, except Embry and Seth, practically drooling over her. It reminded her of being the first girl in her grade to grow breasts; she hated the attention then, and she hated it now. She spared a sympathetic glance at her little brother, who was growling at the wolves surrounding him. She could only imagine the kind of pervy thoughts he was being subjected to.

But Leah had her own problems, like the bitch in her head that wouldn't shut the hell up.

 _Honestly, there's no need for name calling, and besides, technically we're_ both _bitches._

_Seriously, whatever you are, just shut the fu-_

Leah's thoughts were interrupted by a pained yelp. While she was distracted, Jake attacked first, going for one of Sam's legs. Sam managed to shake him off, but was limping. The bite was deep. There was a shifting in the air that sent a chill down the spectators spines; they'd have a new alpha soon.

Sam felt it too, and it pissed him off. In his anger, he abandoned his usual strategy of waiting his opponents out, and lunged. Jake, with a well timed leap of his own, caught Sam's neck between his jaws. Sam whined and tilted his head to the side in submission.

Leah felt chills creep up her spine again, and she thought that was it. She figured Jake would let Sam go, howl, and preceded to sling her over his shoulder and take her back to his cave like a neanderthal, but the voice in her head told her otherwise.

_Oh, just look at how easily he made the other wolf submit! He'll make the perfect mate. As soon as he puts that pathetic mutt of his misery, we'll go congratulate him._

Leah was moving before she realized, and was soon desperately trying to pry Jake's jaws open. Jake gave an annoyed growl and, surprisingly gently, nudged her away. Leah was back at it a second later.

"Okay, you won, now snap the fuck out of it! You can't kill Sam, I won't let you!"

Jake growled once more, before reluctantly letting Sam go and phasing back. He stared into Leah's eyes with a scowl, which she matched, mostly because she didn't know what else to do, before looking down on a whimpering Sam.

"If you touch her again, any of you," he looked at each wolf in turn, except Seth and Embry, "I'll tear your fucking throats out."

Jake turned back to Leah, advancing on her with a glare in his eyes. Despite the knot forming in her stomach, and the annoying voice in her head practically giddy with glee, Leah was proud of the fact that she didn't so much as flinch... until Jake slung her over his shoulder and carried her in the direction of his house like a neanderthal, that is.

_I hope you know you brought this on yourself, dear. I'm glad you did though, I just love irony._

* * *

Leah could feel Jake's gaze boring holes into her back. She was pacing, in front of Jake's couch, as he and billy sat staring at her. Billy didn't seem all that surprised when Jake barged through the front door with her slung over his shoulder, which led Leah to believe that the guy was in on it.

"Will you stop it?" Jake asked with a growl.

"Why, am I bothering you?" Leah asked, with a sneer and a growl of her own. She knew it was childish, but she wasn't going to start off this relationship, she begrudgingly admitted that was what this was, complying to his wishes.

"Yes, actually. You're spreading your scent around and it's making me horny."

Leah stopped pacing.

Old Quil and her mother finally showed up and the meeting commenced. "So," Old Quil said, "I see congratulations are in order. It appears we have a new alpha." He tried starting a slow clap, shrugging when no one else joined in. "We'll go over the general guidelines, and then you can see Sam for some hands-on train-"

"Later," Jake said gruffly. He still hadn't stopped glaring at Leah where she stood against the wall awkwardly. She had the sudden urge to hide. "I want to talk about why I wasn't told about this heat thing as soon as it happened?"

"Oh, well that's an easy one," Old Quil eased himself down into a chair while Sue did the same, "You weren't the alpha at the time, so we weren't obligated to tell you anything."

"And even if you were, we weren't obligated to tell you because my daughter didn't want anyone else to know." Sue was taking turns glaring at both Billy and Jake. Billy at least had the decency to look ashamed, but Jake didn't notice, he was _still_ focused on Leah.

"Well, now I _am_ alpha, and I _will_ be kept in the loop. Anything that concerns her concerns me."

"She has a name, you little-"

"Mom!" Sue didn't seem to have realized that she had gotten out of her seat and was yelling right into Jake's face. Leah was both happy and a little afraid, she was glad that her mother hadn't sold her out like she'd assumed, but she rarely saw Sue this angry.

"Sue, Billy, maybe you two should go and have a chat," Old Quil suggested, and Leah agreed; Sue was far too upset to offer anything productive, and Billy didn't know shit about this anyway. "I think things will go smoother without the children's parents present."

" _I'm_ not a child," Leah muttered as her mother wheeled Billy out of the room. She ignored Jake rolling his eyes.

Old Quil repeated everything he said two nights before, delving a bit deeper into how the heat would be for Jake. Leah could feel Jake's eyes on her the whole time, every time she looked at him, his glare was more and more intense.

Leah could feel herself getting more pissed by the second. Who the hell was he to be upset? _She_ was the one in heat, _she_ was the one whose body was betraying her, _She_ was the one-

_Being a whiny little brat. Honestly, all you've done lately is complain. This really isn't that big of a-_

_Will you please shut up!_ Leah massaged her temples, she was starting to get a headache.

"What's wrong with you?" Jake asked. His mouth closed with a click. His glare deepened even further.

"None of your damn business."

"Why do you have to be such a bitch all the time? I was trying to be nice!"

"I don't need you doing me any favors!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Are you two done acting like toddlers?" Old Quil asked. Leah and Jake were both standing, shouting in each others faces. Leah noted absently how good he smelled. She was quick to sit back down.

"Leah, there's a voice in your head, talking to you, correct?"

"How the hell did you know? Why didn't you say anything sooner, old man?"

"You didn't ask," He answered with a smirk, "Also, I was wondering when you'd get over your pride and ask about it"

"So, you've been hearing it too?" Jake asked her.

She bit back a sarcastic reply, and said, "Yeah. Ever since Sam..." She was going to say 'attacked', but it didn't seem right.

Jake knew what she meant, though. "Yeah, me too. It told me... it was going to _make_ me kill him. I almost couldn't stop myself. I thought I was going crazy."

"The voices you two are hearing are your inner wolves. And before you ask; yes, they've always been there, no, you can't make them shut up."

_Ha ha._

_Fuck you._ "Well, why are we just now hearing them?"

"Because you need them," Old Quil said simply. "Your inner wolves are there to guide you. Sam's spoke to him when he first phased, taught him what I couldn't, but when you all phased, you had an alpha to teach you. They've surfaced now to help you two through your first heat."

_Told you so._

_Shut the fuck up!_ "How the hell is making me come on to Sam, and trying to make Jake _kill_ Sam 'helping' us? The only thing the bitch in my head has done is fuck things up!"

"By making you face reality!" Leah was a little taking aback. The old man was clearly pissed off, and she had never seen him like that before. "Don't you realize that resistance is futile? There is absolutely _nothing_ you can do to get yourself out of this situation, this is your destiny, your _fate_. Your wolves are trying to get you stupid children to realize that.

"You may act like a smart and mature woman but you're just a naive little girl. You think being stronger and faster than everyone else is a _bad_ thing? You think being forever young is a _bad_ thing? Do you know what most people would do to have _your_ problems Leah Clearwater?"

Leah was stumped. She had absolutely no idea what to say to him.

 _Don't say anything, you'll just make it worse. Do you understand_ now _girl? Do you see how jealous he is? How lucky you are?_

"If there are no more questions, I'll be leaving. I've had my fill of ungrateful children for the day." Without another word, Old Quil stood and walked out the door.

* * *

"I should have figured he was jealous," Embry said, as he picked up a small stone and hurled it far into the ocean, "having to see all of us get what he's always wanted but will never have must really suck."

Leah rolled her eyes. "Yeah I get that, but it's not like it's _my_ fault. I'd trade this wolf bullshit in a heartbeat."

"But you can't, so you'll both just have to keep dealing with it." He threw another stone. "What did you and Jake talk about after he left?"

"We didn't," Leah said with a scowl, "He had a bad attitude the whole time, like _he's_ the one that got the short end of the stick, so once the old guy left, I did too."

Embry shook his head. "Don't you think it would have been a good idea to at least _try_ to say something to him? This has been forced on him too, you know, maybe you guys can bond over it."

"I don't wanna 'bond' with him over anything!" Embry raised an eyebrow at her outburst, and she forced her self to calm down.

That word set her off. It was way to close to 'mate', which was way to close to 'breed', which she still hasn't come to terms with yet.

_Well, darling, you need to start reading those baby books, because it's going to happen. It's what we're made for after all._

_You can_ not _be serious._

 _Well of course I am,_ her wolf said calmly, _the female has pups, and takes care of the den, while the males provides food, shelter, and protection. That's how packs work._

 _Well not this one_ , Leah thought, determined. _I'm not gonna stay barefoot and pregnant for any man, I don't care what the bitch in my head says._

_Why, you little-_

"Is she talking again?"

Embry's voice brought her out of the internal argument she'd been having. "Yeah, but it's fine. Well, it's not _fine_ , but I don't wanna talk about it."

"Got it. So, my mom knows. About me being gay, I mean."

"Is she cool with it?" Leah would personally tell the bitch all about herself if she wasn't.

"I guess," Embry shrugged. "I wanted to tell her before someone else did, so during dinner I said, 'mom, I'm gay', and all she said was, 'okay. Pass the salt'. Like, what is that? Where am I supposed to go from there?"

"Maybe you should try to talk to her some more," Leah smirked. "I mean, maybe you two can _bond_ over this."

"I hate you."

"No you don't."

* * *

She didn't want to, god, she _really_ didn't want to, but when she she got home that night, Leah took Embry's advice and called Jacob. She chewed her nails as she waited for him to pick up, but stopped when she realized it must have made her look like a preteen girl calling her crush.

After a while, right when Leah was going to hang up, Jake answered. "Yeah?"

"What the hell took you so long, black?"

"I was deciding whether or not I should ignore you, _Clearwater._ "

Leah scoffed. "Whatever. I just figured we should probably talk about all this shit."

"You wanna talk about this over the phone?"

"Of course not, you idiot, I meant we should meet somewhere."

Jake was silent. Leah could hear another person breathing in the background. "Fine," he said, after a minute. "But I'm busy right now, I'll be at your place in about an hour."

"Fine." Leah hung up and flopped back on her bed with a sigh. She hoped they could be civil about this, she was so sick of arguing.

_Then stop being so combative all the time. I wonder who he's with..._

_Ugh, who cares?_ Leah made her way to the bathroom to take a quick shower. She took her time, washing everything twice, before getting out. She went back to her room and went straight for her closet. Dropping her towel, she grabbed a pink silk night gown and held it up to her body.

She looked nice, she had always liked this one, but she'd filled out more due to phasing since the last time she wore it. Now the hem stopped about an inch below the bottom of her butt instead of mid thigh where it used to.

_Sexy, I bet Jacob will love it! Now, what are you going to do about your makeup? I suggest light lip gloss, don't want to over do it. Your hair though, I suppose that can't be helped. You really should start going to the salon, dear, because doing it your self clearly isn't cutting it. You see what I did there? I said-_

_I got it!_

Leah angrily threw the gown to the back of her closet, kicking herself for even picking the damn thing up. She put on her old trusty cotton pajamas and called it a night. Sure, the bottoms stopped mid calf now, and there were those bleach stains on the back of the top from where Seth had used it to clean his white sneakers, but they were comfortable, damn it!

Besides, it's not like she was trying to impress Jake or anything.

She got in bed with a book, deciding to read until Black showed up. Fifteen minutes passed, and her mother poked her head in to say goodnight. Thirty minutes passed, and Leah heard Seth stomping his way up the stairs to his room. An hour passed and Leah paced her room, glaring out her window every couple of seconds.

Two hours passed, and Leah went to bed pissed and intent on ripping Jacob Black a new asshole the next time she saw him. How dare he stand her up?

Not like it was a date or anything, but still. Rude!

 


	4. Day 4: Flight Risk

 

As usual, when Leah's alarm went off, she wanted to just ignore it. Some people used work to avoid their problems, but Leah's job _reminded_ her of her problems.

She'd be fine for the first few hours, until Bella came in for her shift. Bella made Leah think of Jacob, and Jacob made Leah think of putting her foot up his ass.

 _Oh, just admit it,_ Leah's wolf spoke. Leah sighed, it was way to early for this. _Jacob standing you up last night hurt, you can say it. It's not like I'm_ _going to tell anyone._

Leah could admit it, Jake blowing her off _did_ hurt, but only because he was the one that was pissed about not being in the loop yesterday, she figured he'd want to work through this. It's not like it was a date or anything.

She got out of bed, and started her day as usual. Instead of taking her usual route, Leah felt her feet switching direction without her permission. Leah just sighed and Let her wolf lead her, she just did not have the energy to argue. She took in the smell of the trees surrounding her. Everything smelled sharper than usual, but she wasn't sure if it was because of the heat, or her wolf. She'd have to ask-

 _Where the hell are we going?_ Leah asked her wolf. She got no answer. Leah scented the air again, she smelled Jacob. She saw the little red house in the distance. She should have known.

_What's the problem? You're the one who said you wanted to confront him, and that's exactly what we're going to do._

_I wanted to confront him on_ my _terms_ _not_ yours _! This is_ my _body damn it!_

 _Really?_ Her wolf snorted, _it doesn't seem like it. I'll tell you what, if you can stop your feet from moving, I'll let you handle this one on your own._

It was a challenge, clear as day, and Leah had to much pride to back down from a challenge.

Even when she didn't think she would win.

Leah tried to focus on her feet, but it felt odd. You'd think it'd be easy to concentrate on something you did everyday, but walking was an after thought, like breathing, you don't think about doing it, you just do. She tried and tried but just could not stop moving. She flailed her arms around until she got a hold of a branch. It broke off the tree in her hands, her body still heading for the house uninterrupted.

_Give up yet, dear?_

_Fuck you, bitch._ Leah fought and flailed all the way to the front door, her wolf taunting her the whole way.

 _Now, just let me do the talking,_ Her wolf said, as it raised Leah's hand and knocked loudly on the door, _not that you really have a choice in the matter._

"Leah, what brings you here so-"

"Where's Jacob," her wolf cut Billy off. She forced Leah's eyes over the mans head, scanning the house.

"He's not here. I think he said something about going for a walk-"

"Don't lie to me! He's here, I can smell him. AND I CAN HEAR HIS HEARTBEAT!" She was yelling, but there was no need., Jake could hear every word.

"I told you, he's not here. This is my house, little girl, and you _will_ show me the proper res-"

" _I_ _am_ older than your pathetic, human body will _ever_ grow to be, and _you_ will show _me_ the proper respect, William Black."

Billy's eyes widened, his pupils dilated. He looked like he shit himself. "I-I'm sorry! I didn't know you were... please, forgive me!"

Leah's wolf smirked. "You are forgiven. Tell your son that when he's ready to start acting like a man, like an alpha, and like a direct descendant of Ephraim himself, come and find us."

She turned and walked back towards the forest, relinquishing control once they were safely hidden in the trees. Leah stumbled slightly before catching herself.

_That was..._

_Awesome?_ Her wolf said, her words dipping with cockiness _it was, huh?_

Leah was impressed. Also scared. Very scared.

* * *

 _So, how old are you exactly?_ Leah sat behind the register at Newton's, idly flipping through the pages of a book she'd read twice, while Mr. Newton was in his office doing whatever it was business owners did.

 _Probably paperwork,_ Her wolf answered, _but to answer your first question, technically I'm a little over four months old, as I was born the first time you phased, but I've been reincarnated many times._

 _So are you Taha Aki's reincarnation?_ If so, the bitch in her head was beyond ancient.

 _I'm not_ that _old. Besides, you have to die to be reincarnated._

_So you're saying tha-_

_Yes._

_But wouldn't he be, like, really ol-_

_Yes._

_So he's just been wondering around in the woods all this ti-_

_Yes._

_Will you let me finish a fucking sent-_

_Well, what's the point if I already know what your going to say? You don't call me 'the bitch in your head' for no reason, dear._

_Ugh,, you're so annoying! Just when I was starting to like-_

The tinkling of bells let Leah know that someone was coming through the door. She started to put her book down, but stopped when she saw that it was just Bella and Mike coming in for their shifts.

"Hi, Leah," Bella said with a soft smile. Something about it felt... off. Whatever it was, Leah didn't like it. She ignored Mike's timid, 'hey', to raise an eyebrow at Bella.

"How are you today?" Swan said, as came behind the counter and sat on her stool.

"Fine..."

"I'm glad." She smiled again, before pulling a book of her own out of her bag and getting to work.

Leah eyed her suspiciously, before getting up and heading to the stock room. She ignored the bells tinkling on the front door; Bella can take care of it.

"Mike."

"Ah!" Newton jumped at her voice, fumbling with a pair of hiking boots. "uh, h-hey there, Leah, what up?"

"Swan. What's wrong with her?"

"Who Bella? Uh, I dunno, she seems fine to me."

Leah rolled her eyes. She should have figured Newton wouldn't be any help. "Whatever, I'm going on break."

Leah started out the back door, but paused when she heard a familiar voice.

"Thanks for listening last night, Bells. It helped."

"Don't worry about it. I can see how overwhelmed you are by all of this. Leah too, she seems..."

"Bitchy? That's a constant for her. I kept her off patrol so the guys wouldn't have to deal with her scent, but I'm glad I don't have to listen to her complain about how much everything and everyone sucks. I swear, she's so fucking annoying."

Leah felt like a fifty pound weight was dropped in the pit of her stomach. She knew the rest of the pack wasn't too fond of her, but to hear it laid out like that? It hurt.

_The truth often does, dear._

Whenever Leah is hurting, she always compensates for it with anger. It it was that anger that caused her to dry the tears she didn't even know were falling, and head back to the front of the store.

Leah barged through the door and immediately sent Jake, who at least had the decency to look guilty, one of her most chilling glares. One of the ones she usually saved specifically for Sam.

"We need to talk. Now." She turned and went through the front door, not turning to see if he was following. He would, if he wanted to keep both his balls. She walked until she came around the side of the building before she turned.

"Where the hell were you last night, _Black_?"

"What's it to you, _Clearwater_?"

"You were supposed to be at my place."

"Well I was with a _friend_ , maybe you've heard of them, and I lost track of time."

"What could you and _her_ have been doing that it took you all night?" It better not have been what she thinks it was.

Jake had this shit-eating grin on his face as he answered, "You're a smart girl, figure it out."

Another weight dropped in Leah's stomach. "She has a boyfriend."

He shrugged. "Not my problem. Why do you care anyway? It's not like you like the leech. Or me." The 'or me', sounded almost like a question.

 _Why_ do _you care?_ Her wolf asked. _Why would you care if he sleeps with someone else?_

She cared because Swan was _supposed_ to be with the leech, and Leah hated cheaters. There was no other reason.

_Leah Clearwater, queen of denial._

_Fuck you._ "I _don't_ care. You can fuck whoever you want, it's nothing to me, but what I do care about is you blowing me off, and telling _her_ my business!"

"It's _my business_ too! If I wanna tell _Bella_ about it, then I will."

Leah shook her head, she was done, so fucking done with all of this. "You know what? Fuck it. Fuck this, and fuck _you._ "

"I thought you wanted to talk?"

"I don't want anything from you!" She stormed back into the store, pacing the length of the floor to keep from phasing. If Jake was smart he wouldn't dare set foot in that store right now.

Turns out Jacob wasn't very smart.

"So we can only talk when _you_ want too? Why does everything have to go your way?"

"We can only talk when there aren't _humans_ around!" Leah hissed under her breath.

"Bella knows everything already!"

"I think she's talking about Mike and Mr. Newton, Jake," Bella said timidly.

"Will you just mind your own fucking business, Swan? This has nothing to do with you!"

"DON'T TALK TO BELLA LIKE THAT!"

"FUCK BELLA!"

"WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE?"

Leah looked up at Mr. Newton, and felt another weight settle in her stomach.

* * *

_I wonder if they'll let you use them as a reference?_

Leah was walking along first beach, trying to kill time. She didn't want to go home and see her mother's disappointment when she found out that Leah got fired.

 _Well, you should be used to_ that _by now._

God, she was such a fuck up. She'd burned all her bridges in La Push, and Mr. Newton would be sure to let every business owner in Forks know about what had happened today. She'd have to get a job in Port Angles, if anyone was hiring anyway.

_There's always the fast-food business. If you want, I could help you practice saying, 'you want fries with that?'_

_There's no way in hell I'm flipping burgers all day._

Her wolf snorted. _Well, beggars can't be choosers, dear. But if push comes to shove, street corners are always hiring._

Leah plopped down in the sand with a heavy sigh. Luckily, her wolf had decided to put her witty commentary on mute for the moment, so Leah took the opportunity to contemplate her life.

She was really tired of this, all of it. She had tried to deal, but it was too hard, she was ready to admit that now. Leah just wanted it all to end. She felt her wolf start to panic at those words, but she wasn't talking about suicide. Killing yourself was a cowards way out, and though she may be becoming a quitter, she wouldn't be a coward too.

Besides, would it even work? If she felt anything at all from popping a couple of bottles of sleeping pills, it'd probably just feel like that one Halloween when she ate both her and Seth's bags of candy in one sitting. Slitting her wrists was out; she'd just heal before she got anywhere near bleeding out. Maybe jumping off the cliffs would work? The ones with the really big jagged rocks at the bottom.

_I swear, if you try any of that I'll take control and I won't give it back. Now, please, stop thinking like this. You're scaring me._

Just then, Leah's phone vibrated. It was Jacob. She let it ring.

Thirty seconds later he called back again. Leah hit ignore.

After he called a third time, Leah accepted the call without looking. "What do you want? Don't you think you've wrecked enough shit for one day?"

"Um... Leah, it's Bella."

Bella? The fuck did she want? "How did you get my number?"

"Jake gave it to me. Is that okay?"

No, it wasn't. "What do you want, Swan."

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry you got fired."

"It wasn't your fault." It was that asshole, Black's.

"I know, but still, I feel bad. I'm going to miss working with you." She paused, as if she was waiting for Leah to say 'me too', when Leah didn't, she continued. "I also wanted to tell you that I know things have been tough for you, and I know that you must feel-

"Well you can stop right there," Leah cut her off, her anger re-building, "You don't know shit! You don't know what I've been through, you don't know what I'm going through, you don't know shit because you don't know me. You only know what you _think_ you know because Jake told you, and he doesn't know me either!

"So, please, save me your fake condolences, and your fucking pity, 'cause I don't want it! Go do your good deed of the day somewhere else." Leah was about to hang up when she heard,

"See, I told you she was a bitch. Just forget about her, Bells, you just can't help some people."

"You know what?" Leah seethed, "You _can_ help me. You can help by telling my _Alpha_ that he can go fuck himself! Oh yeah, tell him I quit the pack, too."

Leah used all her strength to hurl her phone as far into the ocean as she could, before getting to her feet and taking off. She was getting the fuck out of this place for good.

_What do you mean you quit the pack? It doesn't work like that._

_I don't care how it works! I'm not staying here, I won't! But I've gotta do something first..._

Leah ran as fast as she could, straight across the border. She ran through forks, knocking people out of the way until she made it to the Cullen's house. They heard her coming, of course, so Edward was waiting for her at the door.

"Leah, what's going-"

"She's cheating on you!" She got so much satisfaction in watching his eyebrows shoot up to his hair line. "That's right, your precious, innocent Isabella is fucking Jacob. They're probably going at it right now! You should have let that bitch die one of the many chances you had."

Leah phased, taking off into the forest. She ran until her paws were sore, then she ran some more. When she physically collapsed from exhaustion is when she stopped. She took a look around, nothing seemed familiar. Good.

There she was, laying in some random forest. She didn't have any clothes, she didn't have a cent of her savings, and she hadn't eaten in hours, but that was the one thing she could fix. As soon as she was rested enough she'd hunt something down.

She had done it, Leah Clearwater had finally left La push. She had always figured she'd have something with her, a bag, some money, a bus ticket, something. But that wasn't the point; she had finally escaped that horrible fucking place and she'd be damned if she ever went back. It's not like anyone would miss her anyway.

Well, her mom would. And Seth. And Embry. Thinking about it now, she wished she would have talked to them first, said goodbye. No, who was she kidding? If she had talked to them, there's no way she would have left. Still, she wished she would have had the time to at least write them a letter or something.

She wondered how long it'd take for them to realize she was gone? Her mom would probably be the one to notice, at least after not hearing from her for a whole day. Ugh, she had to stop thinking about them, it was depressing.

Leah forced herself to her feet, and slowly made her way into the cover of some trees before she laid down again. There were no voices in her head, and for the fist time in months she felt like her thoughts were her own. She felt _normal_. As normal as someone can feel when there laying in the woods transformed into a huge wolf, anyway. She realized that by running away, she _had_ become a coward. Irony sucks.

Leah let the rare silence consume her, and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

_She walked through the forest, glancing at the hundreds of trees surrounding her. It was impossibly dark, she could barely see what was in front of her. The only light was the stars above her head, she was able to see them clearly, here, away from the city._

_She sighed heavily, he should have been here by now._

_While she waited, she watched over her human. The girl was hazy here, like a ghost, but she could still make out how young the girl was, only twenty. Too young to have to make such life altering decisions. But that was what she was there for, to help._

_Too bad getting the girl to listen to her guidance was akin to pulling teeth. She sighed again. Where_ was _he?_

" _I'm here."_

_She turned and saw him, in all his glory. He was beautiful. But that wouldn't get him off the hook._

" _What took so long? I've been here for hours!"_

" _Sorry," he said, nuzzling into her neck, "The boy is stubborn, he purposely stayed awake simply because I suggested he sleep."_

" _How is Jacob?" she struggled to keep the contempt out of her voice, she really wasn't happy with him right now._

" _He's fine." The scene changed. The forest slowly melted away until an unfamiliar bedroom took its place. She saw Jacob, laying sound asleep, curled up next to Isabella_.

" _Have they been together all night?"_

" _Yes, but not in the way you think. The boy thinks he loves her, but Isabella's feelings are purely platonic."_

" _So they haven't slept together?" He shook his head. "Then why would he purposely mislead her?"_

" _To make her jealous, but of course he refuses to admit it. To me_ or _to himself."_

" _Well, it worked." She growled in annoyance. "Why must they be so damn stubborn? He's been practically pulling her pigtails, and she's so hell bent on ignoring her attraction to him that she's deluded herself into thinking she can't tell who she's dreaming about every night! They're both so exhausting!"_

_He began to nuzzle her neck again. "I know, which is why I say we just take over and handle this ourselves."_

" _We can't do that."_

" _Why not? It'd be so much easier. These children have no idea what they're doing."_

" _But they deserve the chance to figure it out. These are their bodies, and their lives. It wouldn't be right to rob them of their choice."_

_He sighed. "You're right."_

" _Aren't I always?." She nipped at his neck before running off, knowing how much he loved to chase her. The bedroom shifted back into the forest with each step she took. Leah would be awake soon, and she would have to leave him for the morning, so she relished every second she got to spend with her mate._

_She couldn't wait until the day she got to do it properly._

 


	5. Day 5: The Very First Time

 

_Hey, get up._

Jacob rolled over, wrapping an arm around Bella's slim waist. He could register the voice trying to stir him, but he focused what little energy he could muster on tuning it out.

_Seriously, kid, get up._

He growled weakly at the voice attempting to intimidate it into silence.

_You still suck your thumb, kid, you're not going to intimidate me anytime soon. Now get the hell up._

_I'm not a kid,_ Jake thought, for what felt like the hundredth time since his wolf started annoying the hell out of him. He buried his nose in Bella's hair. She smelled so good. Not better than Leah though.

_At least you're man enough to acknowledge that, now get up! I'm telling you kid, you're going to regret it if you don't._

_I'm not a Kid! And how could I ever regret cuddling with the girl I lo-_

Someone cleared their throat loudly. Jake opened one eye. Charlie, he looked mad. Fuck.

"Dad!" Bella woke up with a jolt, scrambling out of Jake's arms. "This isn't what it looks like."

Charlie raised an eyebrow.

"It isn't, I swear! Jake and I were just hanging out, and we fell asleep."

Charlie eyed them suspiciously. "Didn't he sleep here last night? If this is becoming a habit-"

"No, dad I swear, Jake's just going through some stuff right now, and I'm being a good friend, that's all. Nothing is going on between us."

Friend-zoned again. But for some reason, it didn't give Jake that punched-in-the-gut feeling it usually did. Maybe he was just starting to get used to rejection. "I'm really sorry, chief, it won't happen again."

"You bet your ass it won't! I like you Jake, but there's no way I'm gonna let a boy spend the night in my daughter's bedroom."

It was really hard for him not to snort at that. If only he knew... "Right, I understand, sir. I'll just go now."

He left the house quickly, not wanting to deal with anymore awkwardness, and headed back to La Push. He hadn't been there in two days, it's about time he check in with his dad.

Jake loved his father, but he hated being around him these days. Every since this heat thing started, it's all he ever wants to talk about. 'How's Leah?', have you talked about the heat with Leah yet?', ' I really think you should talk with Leah', it was all getting to be to much. Jake wasn't a kid, but he was still only sixteen, and his old man seemed to be trying to marry him off before he was even legal.

 _Your father has common sense. You're the alpha, she's a bitch in heat, you two are_ going _to mate, why fight the inevitable?_

 _Because I should have a say in what I do with my life! Beside, I love Bella, and I don't even_ like _Leah._

_You don't have to like her to mate with her, and we both know you like her just fine._

Fine, Jake was a hormonal teenaged boy, and he was willing to admit that he found Leah attractive. She's hot, and older than him, which is apparently his thing, but he didn't like her, hardly anyone did. All she ever does is bitch and moan all the time. He got it, what happened with Sam and Emily sucked for her, but she didn't have to hate the whole world because of it. It's not like it was anyone's fault, anyway.

He turned a corner and ran into Seth and Embry.

"Jake, have you seen Leah?" Seth asked, the kid looked frantic. "No ones seen her since yesterday, and her phone goes straight to voice mail."

"I heard she got fired yesterday," Embry said "She would've at least texted me that, something else must have happened."

Jake winced at that, He and Embry kind of fell out after he phased. He, Embry and Quil used to be like brothers, and now they barely talked to one another if it wasn't about patrols or something. Honestly, he felt kind of abandoned. Quil was always with Claire, and Embry was always with Leah. Jake had found out about Embry liking dudes from some random girl on the street yesterday, that's when he realized that things would probably never be the same between the three of them. It was sad.

_Now who's bitching?_

_Fuck you._ "I haven't seen her since yesterday. She said she quit the pack though, maybe she skipped town."

"What do you mean she quit the pack? Sam said you couldn't do that!"

"Calm down, Seth" Embry put a hand on Seth's shoulder, but he brushed it off. "Jake, what happened?"

Jake shrugged. "Bella called her last night to make her feel better about getting fired, but Leah was a bitch like always and told Bella to tell me she quit the pack. That was it."

"You had to have done something else, she wouldn't have just left like that! What did you do to her, huh? What did you do to my sister?"

Seth shoved at Jake's chest, but Jake didn't so much as flinch. When the kid tried swinging at him, Jake had to put him in his place.

" _Back. Off._ " The alpha command made Seth's arms snap down to his sides. Jake ignored his scowl. "Look, Leah's a big girl, if she wanted to leave, I wasn't gonna stop her. She can take care of her self."

He pushed past them, willing his anger away. Why the fuck should _he_ have to worry about _her_? She was the one always saying how she couldn't stand being in the pack, so wherever she is, Jake's sure she's better off.

 _You need to go find her. You can lie to yourself all you want, but_ I'm _not going to lie to you. That's not why I'm here._

_I never asked you to be here! As far as I'm concerned, you can leave too!_

_Trust me,_ His wolf growled, _if I could, I'd be long gone by now. But I can't recede into the recesses of your mind until you and her live happily ever after._

 _Well that's never gonna happen,_ Jake said stubbornly.

_Then you're stuck with me._

* * *

A search party. A fucking search party. He couldn't believe it.

Word got out that Leah was "missing", and nearly everyone on the Rez, nearly being everyone but Jake, was out looking for her. Chief Swan was even helping, though he couldn't enlist the help of any deputies, since Leah was an adult.

The whole thing was so fucking stupid, She left, it's not like she was kidnapped or something. And the whole thing was so phony, the majority of the people looking didn't even _like_ Leah.

Jake's phone rang, Bella's face flashing on the screen. "Hey Bells, what's up?"

"Oh, nothing much, except for the fact that were _sleeping_ together!"

Fuck. "Huh?"

"Don't play dumb, Jake! You told Leah who told Edward that you and I were _Sleeping_ together?"

"Look, Bells-"

"Why the _fuck_ would you tell her that? Why?"

Shit, she was really mad, Bella never swore. "I didn't say we were having sex Bells-"

"But you implied it. Edward saw the whole conversation in Leah's head, Jake. Why would you do this to me? I thought we were friends."

"We were! We _are_! You're my _best_ friend Bells! Look, I'm really-"

"Save it, Jake! I try to help you with your problems and you repay me by sabotaging my relationship? After everything me and Edward have been through? I'm done, Jacob. Take care."

Jake sat, stunned, for about thirty seconds before he dialed Bella's number again. The first two times it just rang, the third time it went straight to voice mail.

_That's pretty much a sure sign that she doesn't want to talk to you._

Jacob hurled his phone against the wall in rage. This was all Leah's fault!

_You're the one who made her think-_

_Yeah, but she didn't have to go and tell the Leech about it! God, she ruins everything!_

Jake starting pacing the floor, something he picked up from _her_. She wasn't even here and he _still_ couldn't get rid of her.

 _You know you're right,_ his wolf said, _Everything bad that's happened to you recently has been because of her. Ever since you saved her from that newborn she's brought you nothing but bad luck._

 _Finally, you're getting it!_ Took him long enough.

_I say you find her, and give her a piece of your mind._

_You know what? I will! It's about time someone put that bitch in her place._

Jake left the house knowing that he had just been manipulated, but angry enough that he didn't care.

* * *

 _Fuck yeah!_ Leah exclaimed when she _finally_ managed to catch a rabbit. She thought _she_ was fast, but those little fuckers were way faster. She had initially refused to kill one of them, it felt like bad luck to eat something that cute, but every growl of her stomach had her changing her position. Circle of life, right?

She snapped the poor things neck quickly, not wanting to make it suffer more than necessary, but paused when faced with her next dilemma; how the hell was she going to cook it?

_You're a wolf, act like one._

_Hell no._ There was no way she was eating it raw, she'd starve first. Okay, she wouldn't actually starve, but she wouldn't eat a raw animal, she wasn't a savage.

* * *

Jake skidded to a stop, realizing that he had no clue where he was going, and no clue how he was going to find Leah.

_Track her scent, genius._

_How the hell am I supposed to do that?_ Jake's anger had calmed some since he took off, but was quickly replaced with irritation.

_All you have to do is- you know what? Never mind. I'll handle it, you just count your toes or something._

Jacob felt his wolf take over, but was glad for it. He had time to really think now that he didn't have to attempt navigating through this unfamiliar forest. He'd given up on blaming Leah for all this mess, it wasn't like she actually _chose_ this. Her body was betraying her, that's gotta suck. He was only really upset with her in the first place because he was scared.

When he first learned about imprinting it freaked him out, being forced to love someone, possibly a stranger, having everything in your life revolve around this one person, it terrified him. Even more when he found out about the Sam/Emily/Leah mess, but he still held out a kind of desperate hope that he'd imprint on Bella.

Living for her happiness wouldn't have been so bad, he practically did already anyway, and he would have known it was real because he had loved her before, unlike Jared, who didn't even notice a girl who sat next to him every damn day. He could never understand how they could be okay with that, but as long as they were happy...

What he felt for Bella was simple and clean; he was in love with her. The things Jake feels for Leah are... complex. He's sure he doesn't _love_ her, but it's definitely more than a crush. It'd be easy to say it was just because of her being in heat, but he had always been a bit infatuated with her. When he was younger he would visit the Clearwater house under the rouse of hanging out with Seth, only to catch a glimpse of his older sister. Luckily, the kid had grown on him, so it wasn't too much of a hassle, but he would always hope she would be home when he was there.

Ever since Bella moved back Leah was the last thing on his mind, but now those feelings were bubbling back up to the surface. The thing is, he had no idea how Leah felt about _him_. Sometimes she'd look at him a certain way. Or specifically pick him out at a pack meeting to taunt that made him fell like she maybe reciprocated, even if she would never act on it, but he thought the same thing about Bella, and look how _that_ turned out.

Maybe he should try dating girls his own age.

* * *

Leah tore into her third rabbit with slightly less disgust than the second one. She tried to make a fire, but it was a lot harder than they make it look on TV. She held out for about an hour just for her pride's sake, but eventually, her stomach won that battle. She had figured out the hard way that the only way to keep the meat down was to eat it in her wolf form, and while it was no four-course meal, it served it's purpose.

After she'd had her fill, Leah wandered around for a bit. She still didn't know what she was going to do about her living situation, 'cause she damn sure wasn't going to live in the woods forever, but it would do for the time being. She wasn't really in the mood to deal with people yet.

She noticed a bit late that there were no voices, other the annoyingly persistent one, in her head. Either the pack wasn't phased, which meant they weren't even bothering to look for her, which kind of hurt, or she had really quit the pack. She didn't actually think it would work.

Leah started to dig a hole to bury the rabbit carcasses in when she felt a chill run down her spine. Someone was watching her.

 _Don't turn around abruptly,_ her wolf spoke for the first time in a while, _Be subtle. Whoever it is, we don't want them to know we know they're here._

Leah pushed the rabbits into the hole before slowly craning her neck. She didn't see anyone. Maybe she was just being paranoid.

_You're not. I feel it too._

Leah was suddenly scared for the first time in a while. She wished she hadn't left.

* * *

_Are we there yet?_

_No._

Jake sighed heavily which felt really weird since he wasn't in control of his body at the moment. It was like a mind sigh.

_Yet?_

_No._

God, he was so bored! They had been running for hours.

_It's only been one, stop whining. And if you ask me if we're there yet one more ti-_

They skidded to a stop, Jake's wolf scenting the air. _What do you smell?_

 _Nothing,_ his wolf answered, _but something's wrong, I can feel it._

They took off again, much faster than before. Jake was starting to get worried, he kept asking his wolf what was wrong, but he was being ignored. Soon he could smell Leah's scent, the longer they ran, the stronger it got. Jake felt his wolf's influence seep away Just as they came to a clearing.

Leah was hunched over in her wolf form, her back to him, and a leech was looming over her. Jake didn't even think about it as he lunged at the creature. The thing turned, surprise all over it's face, before it vanished into thin air. Luckily, Jake had caught it off guard, and whatever it did, it did it too late. Jake was ripping the Leech's head off before it had a chance to run.

He was pretty sure the thing was _dead_ dead, but Jake didn't stop until he had literally torn the vamp limb from limb.

Once he was through, he turned to Leah, who had backed herself against a tree. She looked terrified. "Are you okay?"

_She left the pack, remember. She can't hear you anymore._

_Huh, I didn't think it would actually work that way._ "Are you alright?" He asked, once he had phased.

"Why are you here?"

"I just saved you from a vampire, for the second time I might add, and I don't even get a thank you? That's pretty rude, Leah." He said it without any real anger, he realized that Leah dealt with stress through being a bitch.

Plus, he was feeling pretty good about the fact that she was staring right at his junk.

"Thank you. Now why are you here?"

"I came to bring you back home, everyone's freaking out. My eyes are up here, by the way."

"Freaking out?" Leah's eyes snapped to his face. "I highly doubt that."

"Trust me, I didn't believe it either, but the whole Rez is out searching for you."

"Why though? They all hate me." Jacob frowned at how dejected and vulnerable she sounded. He didn't like it at all.

"Look," Jake said, sitting down next to her. He politely covered his crotch with his hands to save her from trying not to look. It was amazing how comfortable he felt sitting next to a hot girl in his birthday suit. "No one _hates_ you. It's just that you're a little difficult to be around. That doesn't mean that the people on the Rez don't care about you, and that the pack wouldn't risk our lives for you. Yeah, you're a bitch, but you're our bitch."

_Really? You went there?_

"Fuck! No, I didn't mean, like-"

"I get it, Jake. Thanks."

Jake sighed in relief, he really didn't feel like fighting right now. "No problem. So, about that leech, how didn't you know he was there?"

Leah looked relieved for the change of subject. "I don't know. I felt someone watching me, but I couldn't see or smell anything. It was really freaking me out. It must have been some type of power he had."

"Yeah, I saw him until he was facing me, then he just vanished." Jake turned his head to stare at her. Leah had her eyes trained on the ground, her hair stuck up all over the place from lack of brushing. Jake fought the urge to smooth it with his hands; that probably wouldn't go over too well.

"Stop it."

"huh?" Leah's voice brought him back to reality.

"Stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like... that. I don't like it."

"Well, what do you like?" he scooted closer to her, her scent changed slightly. It was even better than It was before.

"Jake..." he leaned in to nuzzle her neck, his hand making it's way up her thigh. Jake could feel her tremble. he had no clue what had came over him, but but didn't want it to stop. And by the way Leah angled her upper body towards him, she didn't want it to stop either.

"Jake, I don't think-"

"Don't think, it's overrated." they were face to face now, so close that Jake could smell the blood from whatever she must have eaten earlier. he wanted to kiss her, but held off. he didn't want to kill the mood by moving to f-

Leah straddled him with a sexy growl that almost had Jake cumming on the spot. She grabbed his face with both of her hands and mashed their faces together.

Jacob had absolutely no what he was doing. he had hoped that when his first time finally came, instinct would kick in, but he was out of luck. It wasn't a problem though, because Leah took charge. She tugged on his hair hard as she plunged her tongue into his mouth, alternating between growls and whimpers.

After a while Jake flipped them over, he was the alpha after all, there was no way he'd let her maintain control for too long. Leah didn't seem to mind, though, she wrapped her legs around his waist and started grinding up against him immediately. It was at this moment that Jake remembered that they were both naked. His junk was literally brushing up against her junk. It was awesome.

It was almost like a dream, Jake could barely believe it was happening. But when Leah reached in between them and slid the tip in he felt his heart stop. Jacob Black was officially no longer a virgin.

 _Move you idiot!_ His wolf growled out. Jake realized that he was just hovering there, staring down at her. Leah looked pissed.

"Are you seriously just going to lay there? What, is this your first time, or some- oh god. Oh my god!"

She looked horrified, and before Jake could even try to console her, Leah shoved him off, phased, and ran deeper into the forest.

 _So, do you manage to fuck up_ everything _, or just the important stuff?_

 


	6. Day 6: Gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings for attempted rape and character death.

 

Leah felt like curling up into a ball and dying.

 _Always so dramatic. It hasn't been_ that _bad._

Okay, maybe it wasn't, but it was still pretty bad. Jake had caught up to her eventually, and though she noticed that their minds were linked again, both of them spent the entire run back to La push shielding their thoughts from one another. The second she set foot on her family's property she was assaulted with hugs. It was nauseating.

Word spreads like wildfire in La Push, and a few seconds later most of the Reservation knew she was back, and were welcoming her with open arms. It was all so overwhelming, Leah had gotten so used to being alone, but ever since she had got back she couldn't even go to the bathroom without Sue and Seth freaking out.

Don't get her wrong, she loved that they all cared, she wasn't _that_ cold, but all the attention got to be exhausting. And the fact that people on the reservation cared about her all of the sudden was a little off putting. She was currently holed up in her room, resisting the urge to roll her eyes when Seth or her mom, sometimes both, came up to check on her.

_So, how long are you planning on ignoring the elephant in the room?_

_I don't know what you're talking about._

Leah could feel the eye roll. _Sure, so you're_ not _trying to_ _avoid_ _thinking about Jacob._

Fine, whatever, she _was_ trying not to think about Jake, but could you blame her? She practically raped the kid.

 _Well, I think_ that's _a little extreme._

Was it though? He clearly didn't know what he was doing, and all she did was mock him. She was going to take his virginity in the middle of the fucking woods. He's not even _legal_ yet! Leah was disgusted with her self.

 _Ugh, you're such a drama queen. It's a 4 year age difference, but if it's_ that _serious then just call him._

She was about to protest, but then she realized, why the fuck not? She was a, mostly, mature adult, she should be able to handle these situations without running to mommy or the bitch in her head for help. It was time to take the bull by the horns.

_About time..._

Leah went for her phone, but remembered that she hurled it into the ocean. With a sigh, she went to the kitchen to pick up the land line. Good thing her mom had ignored her when Leah teased her about still having one. She picked up the phone and dialed Jake's number. Voice mail.

She didn't want to seem desperate, but she also knew that if she didn't talk to him now, she would loose the nerve to try back later. So she dialed the number again. One ring, two, three, four. Just as she was about to hang up, he answered.

"Yeah...," Jacob answered.

"Hey... it's Leah." She bit her lip as she waited for him to respond.

"Oh, hey. Sorry, didn't recognize your number. I got a new phone, and I thought my contacts carried over, but I guess not."

"Oh, I'm on the land line. What happened to your old phone?"

"I sorta hurled at my bedroom wall," he said sheepishly, "What happened to yours?"

"I might have hurled mine into the ocean by accident."

Jake laughed and Leah smiled at the sound of it. He had a nice laugh. "So..., whats up?"

"Oh, I just thought that we could talk, you know, face to face, no more bullshit?"

"Yeah, I guess we probably should."

She let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. "Cool."

"I'll be there in about an hour."

"Yeah, I've heard that before. I'll come to _your_ place. I need to get the hell out of this house for a while."

"I, uh was just about to go somewhere, actually."

"Oh." Don't ask where he's going, don't ask whe- "Where are you going?"

 _Really?_ Leah rolled her eyes.

_What? I'm helping. That's what I'm here for._

Jacob was silent for a while before answering with a sigh,"I'm going to Bella's."

"Oh." It was like she just got punched in the gut, but Leah managed to recover quickly. "Well, I guess we can meet at first beach?"

"Sure."

"Great, see you then." Leah hung up the phone quickly, clenching her eyes shut tight. She'd be damned if she let herself cry.

* * *

It took about a minute long group hug and about fifteen assurances that she was, in fact coming back before Leah was allowed to leave the house. It made her feel good that people cared so much about her, but, like she said, annoying.

She had been at first beach for about 15 minutes, waiting for Jake to show. She was trying to mentally prepare what she was going to say when he got there, but was drawing blank. How do you go about apologizing for nearly raping someone?

She waited a beat, expecting her wolf to offer her completely unwanted opinion, but it never came. Huh. Leah could still sense her, silently judging in the back of her mind, but she was uncharacteristically quiet. It was a nice change of pace, actually, but it made Leah nervous.

The calm before the storm.

She heard movement from her right and snapped her head to look. Jake was walking toward her. He was shirtless. This was nothing new, of course, but her interest in it was. He looked good. Like, _really_ good. Damn.

He sat down in the sand about two feet away from her. Leah frowned at the distance. "Hey."

"Hey."

Silence. For about 10 minutes. When she just couldn't take it anymore, Leah said, "Well? Aren't you gonna say anything?"

"You're the one that wanted to meet up, you say something."

"God, you're such a fucking asshole-"

_He's right, you called him. Now just say what you want to say._

Leah took a deep breath before starting again. "Sorry, for that. And also for in the woods. I didn't mean to force you into something you didn't want."

Jake snorted. "Well I thought it was pretty obvious that I wanted it."

She tried to contain her smirk. "Yeah, but I was still pushy. I didn't mean to rush you into something you weren't ready for. I'm the adult in this, I should have been more responsible."

"Leah, you're only four years older than me, it's not that big of a deal. And I was trying to make sure _you_ were ready. With the whole heat thing..., I just didn't want you to regret it after."

"Oh." that was actually kind of sweet. "Well, thanks."

Jake nodded, clearing his throat. "While were apologizing, I'm sorry I made you think I was having sex with Bella."

"You're not?" Jake shook his head. "Oh. Then why would you want me to think that?"

"I was trying to make you jealous, I guess. It was stupid. I almost lost my best fried."

Leah's heart sped up. "Why would you want to make me jealous?"

"I'm pretty sure you know why."

"Humor me."

Jake rolled his eyes, before locking them with hers."Because I sorta like you, I guess."

She looked down at her toes in the sand. "I sorta like you back, I guess."

"Cool."

"Cool."

* * *

"Just so you know, I'm not the kind of gay guy that will sit around and talk about cute boys with you all the time," Embry said around a spoon full of ice cream, "this is a special occasion."

"Trust me, I know. This isn't usually me either, but I just feel like..."

"Like a giddy school girl?" Seth supplied from his place on the floor at the foot of Leah's bed. She had almost forgotten he was in here. She didn't really know _why_ he was here. Probably for the ice cream.

"Yeah. It's really fucking annoying. I haven't felt like this since... well, yeah, it's annoying."

She found herself thinking of Sam for the first time in what felt like years. It was so hard to believe that all this mess only started six days ago. She last saw him yesterday, he was apart of the welcome back committee. He, and the other wolves, were paying her _a lot_ of attention, but she was too busy thinking of Jake to care all that much. He was standing behind her, so close that she could feel the heat radiating off of him. He was growling softly at the pack the whole time and t made Leah feel… something.

"So," Embry said, bringing her back down to earth, "Are you two officially together then?"

"I don't know actually. We didn't really talk talk about it."

"Then what did you do with him for five hours?" Seth paused, mouth open, spoon full of ice cream in the air. "Oh god, never mind." He was gone pretty fast after that.

"Well, _I_ wanna know, what _were_ you and Jake doing for five hours?"

Leah blushed. "We were just talking, really. About stupid shit mostly, like our favorite movies, most embarrassing stories, nothing important. We were getting to know each other." It was weird how you could know someone your whole life without actually _knowing_ them.

"That sounds a lot like first date talk to me."

"Says a guy who's never been on one."

Leah ignored Embry's dirty look in favor of eating more ice cream.

* * *

She woke up in a cold sweat, her body tingling with the sensation of being so close to release. It was the same dream she'd been having the past six days, of the incredibly hot naked guy whose face she _still_ couldn't see, and frankly, she was pretty fucking over it.

Leah sat up with a sigh, her hands rising to massage her temples. She looked over at the old digital clock on the nightstand next to her bed with a sigh. 3:15 AM. She had tossed and turned for hours before finally drifting off, and here she was, tired as hell, but wide awake at 3:15 AM.

She got out of bed, wiping the sweat from her brow with the back of her forearm. Her hand trailed down to her neck.

She moved, opening her window with a loud bang. She went still and listened. She heard Seth shift in his sleep, but the breathing from her mother's room remained steady. Two heartbeats. Charlie had come over last night and ate dinner with them. Apparently he hadn't left.

She stuck her head out of her window and inhaled deeply. It helped, but it wasn't enough. She grabbed a pair of cut-off jean shorts and a sports bra and pulled them on over her nude body with fumbling hands, foregoing shoes as she left her room. She tried to go down the old, creaky steps as quietly as she could, but her urgency won out in the end.

She needed to get out, and she needed to do it _now_.

She slipped out the back door and power walked her way into the trees, taking a deep breath and letting it out as a deep sigh. So much better. She started out with a light jog, gradually getting faster. She weaved through the trees effortlessly, loving the feeling of dirt between her toes.

But it wasn't enough. She reached up and grabbed for her throat again, fingernails digging in painfully. She couldn't breath, why couldn't she breath?

Faster. She wanted, _needed_ To go faster.

She leaped off the ground, shifting in midair, her clothes ripping away. She landed on all fours, going so fast that the trees around her were a blur. She ran with a smile, thinking about what someone would think if they saw a giant wolf running at them with a goofy smile on it's face. It made her smile even harder.

She kept smiling as she skidded to a stop, panting as she caught her breath. The was the most fun she had ever had in her wolf form. She just felt so trapped, like a dog on a chain. Shifting set her free, she felt amazing.

_Run._

Leah frowned, looking around her. _What? What's wro-_

A howl cut her off. She looked behind her in the direction of it, her eyes widening. _Fuck._

_Yeah. So like I said, run. Now!_

Leah took off running as fast as she could, but she was loosing stamina. Another howl sounded and another soon after that. There's two of them. She ran faster, looking over her shoulder and narrowly avoiding a head on collision with the trunk of a tree. She couldn't see them yet, but she could _feel_ them getting nearer.

The howling started back up after awhile, but there were a lot this time. They were starting to overlap to the point were Leah couldn't tell how many there were. She chanced another look over her shoulder and almost tripped over her own feet. She could see them; Jared, Paul, Quil, and leading the charge was good ol' Sam.

Leah was scared. One of them was bad enough, but all four of them? There was no way she could out run them all. Not now, she was so tired.

 _You can't fight them, you have to keep running,_ her wolf said calmly. How the hell was she so fucking calm? _Because one of us has to be, and it's clearly not going to be you. Run faster._

 _I can't!,_ Leah said. They were on her, Jared and Paul were nipping at her heels, taunting her. She felt so defenseless admitting it, but she was more scared than she had ever been. More scared then when she was cornered by Sam, more scared than when they fought the newborns, she was even more scared than she was the first time she phased. She didn't know what to do!

_I told you, run faster!_

_I'm going as fast as I ca-_

_NO!_ , her wolf yelled, _You do not give up, you_ cant! _I wont let you!_

Leah's vision blurred as tears welled up in her eyes. Her wolf was trying to stay strong for her, but Leah could feel that she was scared too. Her body was so tired. She wanted to stop. She wanted to curl up into a ball and cry for her mommy to fix everything for her like she did when she was a little girl.

But she ran faster.

She pushed and she pushed until she felt like her legs were going to fall off. She looked over her shoulder to she Paul and Jared gnashing their teeth at her, but they were falling behind. She was getting away! She turned to look in front of her, her eyes widening. The trees were thinning out and she could she the sun rising over a cliff. It was a dead end.

She stopped in her tracks, her momentum propelling her forward. She skidded and rolled, coming to a stop right before she fell over the edge. Leah got back on and feet and turned to run in the opposite direction, but there they were. They spread out blocking her path from both sides and the front. She thought of jumping, but she didn't know what would be waiting for her at the bottom, and she damn sure wasn't going to take her eyes off of them to check.

 _What do I do?_ She asked, starting to panic again. She was trapped, but her wolf would know what to do. She had to.

 _I don't._ Her voice broken, all of the wisdom and determination gone. _I don't know what to do, I-I'm sorry._

Tears welled up in her eyes again. She was going to die. They were going to rape her, then they would tear her apart. She looked at them; The snarling wolves that claimed they were her brothers. Their eyes were hungry, out for blood. Quil was to her left, Paul to her right, and Jared and Sam in the middle.

 _Quil,_ her wolf answered her unasked question. She didn't give it another thought.

She used all the strength she had left to throw herself at him, catching his side in her jaws, and snapping them shut. She snatched her head back, tasting blood as she tore out a chunk of his flesh. She yelped in surprise and pain, the chunk of Quil falling out of her teeth as someone bit her tail.

She looked over her shoulder to identify her attacker. Paul. She turned to snap at him but was cut short by a set of jaws clamping down on her front left leg. Jared. They dragged her paws out from under her so that she fell on her back hard. Another yelp of pain and a chunk of her flank was gone. She looked up to see Sam looming over her.

Blood, _her_ blood was dripping from his midnight black fur. She clenched her eyes shut tight when they made contact with his, not wanting to see whatever it was he was going to do.

_I'll take over, try not to think or feel. let your mind go blank._

_But you-_

_No child,_ her wolf thought gently, her voice was like a hand softly caressing Leah's cheek. _This is all I can do for you right now. Let me do this for you._

Before Leah could respond, there was a menacing growl. Sam was rammed into by a massive reddish-brown blur.

Jake. He was there.

Leah moved, dragging her weakened body off to the side, away from the fight. She finally made it behind a large tree, before peeking around it.

Quil was curled into a ball on the ground, human, clutching at the open wound in his side in clear agony. Leah couldn't find it in her to care in that moment. Jared and Paul lay on their backs, frozen in place, showing the telltale signs of an Alpha command.

Then she saw Jake and Sam. It reminded her of their showdown before, when Jake took his Alpha spot. They were circling each other, feeling each other out. It didn't last long though, because Jake attacked. He lunged, Sam meeting him midair. The two were a ball of fur, teeth, and claws as they battled, but Jake was the Alpha. The _rightful_ Alpha.

Leah watched as Jake knocked Sam onto his back. She watched as Jake approached, Sam bearing his neck in submission. She watched as Jake took Sam's neck into his mouth. The man she _thought_ was her soul mate's eyes locked on hers.

And although she winced, and let a few tears fall, Leah's eyes never closed, and never looked away from Sam's, as Jake's Jaw crunched down.

 


	7. Day 7: Losing Battle

 

The walk back was silent; maybe because Leah still couldn't hear the other wolves in her head, but the general atmosphere was so somber she didn't think there would be much conversation going on even if she could.

She was flanked by Embry and Seth; Jake had ordered the, three of them to head back to the Rez. He had stayed behind to "deal" with the rest of the pack. She didn't want to think about what that meant. Leah knew that she would be rejoining the pack eventually, she had to stop and collect herself at the thought.

She would have to hear the packs lustful thoughts about her, have to see their distorted views of her being a "tease", and "Asking for it".

She would have to see the event that was sure to be branded in her memory for the rest of her life from four different perspectives.

Leah darted behind a tree, emptying her stomach of its contents, which wasn't much, she hadn't eaten anything since dinner last night. That was hours ago. She eventually began to painfully dry-heave, which eventually turned to sobbing.

 _He's dead,_ she thought, _Sam's dead._

She flinched when she felt someone nuzzling up against her side. Seth. She tried to get herself together and be strong for her little brother but she ended up breaking down even more. Embry came up against her other side, and the two comforted her as she cried, the best they could anyway.

Leah was not the easiest person to console.

She took a deep breath, stood up and kept moving. She had to keep moving. Seth and Embry started to follow after sharing a wary glance. Leah had to get home, had to see her mom.

Her mother would know what to do, she had to, because Leah felt totally _lost._

* * *

A sense of urgency overtook Leah when her house came into view.

She ran, phasing once she made it onto the porch, not giving a damn who saw her. She burst through the door with a loud bang, startling the people inside. Billy, old Quil, and her mother. Leah moved to stand in front of her and just looked for a few seconds.

As determined as she was to keep her composure, that determination flew out the window in about two seconds flat. She sank to her knees at her mothers feet, and cried. She felt arms wrap around her, and that's when the sobbing started.

* * *

After what felt like hours later, after the tears had _finally_ stopped falling, Leah pulled away from her mothers chest with a sniff. Sue's blouse was ruined, a large wet spot from tears and snot was covering the area where her right breast was. It reminded Leah of how her mother's breast milk would sometime leak when Seth was a baby. Whenever it happened Leah would always picture her mom's face on a cow's body.

Leah let out a dry chuckle. She missed how much simpler things were then, how easy. When you're a kid, chores and school and homework and little brothers feel like the worst things in the world, and you just can't wait to grow up. Leah would give anything to go back. Back to when people didn't turn their noses up at her like trash, when she didn't know how much crippling debt her mother was in.

Back to when people she cared about weren't dead.

But unfortunately, time machines didn't exist, and werewolves did.

* * *

Leah woke naturally, sitting up in her bed with a sigh. A look out of her window showed it was late, an a glance at the time on her phone showed that it was nearing midnight. She had apparently slept the day away.

She didn't even remember falling asleep actually. She vaguely recalled old Quil and Billy leaving rather quickly with the excuse of, "giving her some privacy", but her sobs probably just made them super uncomfortable. She thought she could remember Embry and Seth showing up, the latter carrying her up to her room. It was then Leah realized she was still naked, and she felt a pang of Embarrassment at people seeing her in such a weak and vulnerable state.

Weak and vulnerable Leah Clearwater.; not something many people would say, but all too true. especially right now.

She leaned over and sniffed at her blanket, it smelled like her mother. She must have sat in here with her while she was asleep. As if the woman could read her daughter's mind, Leah heard the creaking of her door opening, and her mother's head peeking through.

"Hi."

"Hi," Leah replied, blinking away tears. There was just something about seeing her mother that seemed tho make Leah want to bawl her eyes out, but she refused to cry anymore today. Tomorrow was another story though.

Sue came to sit next to Leah on the bed, and the two sat in silence. Leah really appreciated that her mom seemed to know not to ask her anything stupid like, "are you okay?," or, "how are you feeling?". Probably from experience. She herself was in a similar situation not too long ago.

"Mom, he's... Sam, he's..."

"Yes. Yes he is, sweetie. I'm so sorry." She put her arm around Leah's shoulders and pulled her close.

"What do I do?"

She was quiet for a moment before she answered, "Nothing. There's nothing that you, or anyone can do when someone dies. You grieve for a while, and then you pick yourself up and carry on."

"But how am I supposed to do that?" Leah asked, irritation seeping it's way into her tone. "Sam's dead, mom. He's dead! How the hell am I supposed to carry on when he's-"

"Because you have to!" The firmness of her mother's tone caused her to jump a bit. With her head pressed against her Sue's chest, Leah listened to her take a deep breath, calming herself, before continuing.

"You can grieve and mourn your loss for awhile; you can cry and you can mope because you're human and you have feelings, But the world is still spinning. Eventually you're going to have to put your chin up and live. You can do it because you have to, and you can do it because you're _strong._ "

Leah snorted, reaching up to rub at her eyes. "I don't feel very strong right now."

Sue hugged her a little tighter. "You will. No pain lasts forever sweetie, remember that."

With that, sue leaned down to kiss her daughter on the forehead, then left the room, closing the door softly. Leah watched her leave with a sigh, she was not looking forward to being alone with her thoughts. She tried to avoid it at first, thinking about trivial things like the outfit she would wear tomorrow (in the unlikely event that she actually left her bedroom), and some trashy reality show she watched from time to time, but it was pointless. Her mind inevitably drifted to Sam.

His face was branded into her memory, she could recall it as if it were her own reflection. But it wasn't the Sam she had loved like it usually was, the one who was so kind and caring. She saw the Sam who had pinned her up against a tree, and had taunted her about how bad she _wanted_ it. She saw the Sam who's muzzle was stained with her blood as he loomed over her.

She saw Sam as he breathed his last breath with his neck between Jacob's jaw.

Jake. It was the first time she'd thought about him in a while considering _he_ was the cause of all the pain she was going through. She felt anger and disgust bubble up. How _could_ he? How could he murder _Sam_. He was his friend, his mentor, and he just ended him like it was nothing.

_It wasn't his fault._

_Oh, so_ now _you want to speak up._ Leah's wolf had been silent ever since she was attacked, and she had honestly been missing her. As annoying as she was, Leah found her wisdom comforting.

_No, I'm here to guide you, but your mother had to be the one to comfort you on this, she is wise in her own right. Now, back to Jacob, he-_

_He's a murderer!_ Leah could feel herself start to shake. Sure, they didn't always see eye to eye, but wasn't _her_ wolf supposed to be on _her_ side? _He's a power hungry monster! I bet he always wanted to be alpha, he was just waiting for Sam to be at his weakest to take advantage. I'm gonna make that asshole pay for what he-_

A strong punch to the face caught Leah off guard and sent her sailing off the side of the bed. She could taste the metallic tang of blood on her tongue before the cut started to close itself up. She sat in shocked silence for a few moments before she realized that she had hit herself.

The next thing she knew, Leah was on her feet and walking towards her dresser. She finally realized what was happening and tried to move her feet, but to no avail. She started to rummage around the contents on to of the dresser, knocking things over in her haste to find... something.

 _Are you done yet,_ she asked her wolf. No response, only a feeling of triumph as Leah's fingers closed around a pair of scissors. Leah hissed in pain as they were swiped across her wrist.

 _What the hell are you do-_ the scissors were impaled into her forearm,, coming through the other side. Leah started to howl in pain, but her jaw snapped shut, causing her to nearly bite her tongue off. The scissors were yanked out, accompanied by a spurt of blood. Leah had no time to react, though, as she saw the point of the scissors come towards her eye.

Leah still couldn't open her mouth, so she resorted to muffled screams, praying that someone could hear her and come to her aid. _Stop, stop, please!_ It was like her pleading fell on deaf ear as the scissors approached, seemingly in slow motion. Leah tried with all of her might to stop her hand, but nothing. She clenched her eyes shut tight, as if that would help, but it didn't matter; they were wrenched open again.

She was crying now, still pleading with her wolf to stop, but nothing. She held her breath as she waited for the pain to come, but nothing happened. The scissors had stopped mere centimeters from her pupil. She found hat she had control of her eyes again and let them flutter closed, shuddering at the feeling of her lashes making contact with the metal instrument.

All at once, she felt control of her body become hers again, like releasing a rubber band pulled taught. Leah threw the scissors away from her with a force that caused the to become imbedded into her bedroom wall with a loud thud, and scurried backwards so that her back was flush against the opposite wall.

"Leah, sweetie, are you okay?" Sue asked from outside her bedroom door after a few moments.

"Yes, mother, I'm fine," her wolf responded for her, "I tripped getting out of bed, it's fine."

"Alright, well if you need me you know I'm right down the hall."

"I know mother. Thank you." Leah's wolf listened to Sue's retreating footsteps, before saying, _so, what have we learned?_

 _That you're a_ _psycho_ _bitch who has it out for me!_ Leah spat, pressing onto the wound in her arm with her palm. It was healing, but it was still painful, _What the fuck was that?_

That _was me proving a point. When I want to make you say or do something, there's no way around it. You are completely under my control. I thought I had proved that but apparently you needed a reminder._ _The same applies to Jacob._

Leah shook her head. _So you're saying Jake's wolf made him do that? That's sick. He probably feels awful._

_I'm sure he does. So maybe cut him a little slack?_

_Of course,_ _it wasn't_ his _fault, it was that monster in his head! How could he make Ja_ _k_ _e do something like that? And isn't he supposed to_ _be_ _your mate or something? You two fuckers deserve_ _each other._

Leah trembled slightly as the echo of a growl sounded in her head. _Watch your mouth, girl! We may be sentient, but at the end of the day your wolves are just that;_ wolves _. We are animals. Samuel threatened the safety of his mate, so Jacob's wolf,_ my _mate, reacted accordingly. You can't fault him for that._

_Well who should I fault then, huh?_

Because Leah really need someone to blame, or she would have to deal with some truths. Like how Jake's wolf made him kill Sam because he attacked her. And that Sam only attacked her because he wasn't thinking like himself. And that Sam wasn't thinking like himself because of Leah's heat.

Because of Leah. It was her fault.

 _And here's the pity party,_ Leah's wolf sighed. _Well I think I'm gonna sit this one out._

She was right, Leah _did_ feel sorry for herself a lot. But that was only because she had a lot to feel sorry about. She was happy once, but that happiness was chiseled away by one shitty event after another, until there was nothing left but the bitter, miserable, _lonely_ bitch she was today.

It started with the Sam and Emily situation. And oh god, she hadn't even thought about Emily. She thought of her cousin, former best friend, crying her eyes out over the loss of her soul mate. It didn't make her smirk, or laugh like it might have before. She wondered if anyone had told her yet.

She remembered how messed up she had been after, how people would try to console her tell her that Sam was a jerk and there were other fish in the sea. It didn't make her feel better, even though she appreciated their effort, it had just made her angry. She had lost all the friends she had that year, but that was her fault.

Then her dad died. She could feel her throat start to close up at the thought. He was everything to her. Her mom and Seth too. Harry Clearwater was their rock, so much shit hit the fan when he died. It's like he took his families joy with him. Seth had more than enough, so you had to squint to see that some of it was missing, but Sue and Leah? That was obvious.

Leah thought back to how their phone would ring off the hook with either call of condolences, or bill collectors. She thought about how her and Seth would stay up at night, huddled together on her bed, listening to their mother's quiet sobs with their new and improved wolf hearing.

Werewolves had torn her family apart, torn _her_ apart. If all the shit that had went down wasn't reason enough to feel bad for herself she'd hate to know what was. Leah looked to her window, at the moon hanging high. It was beautiful; big and shining, almost...

"Sparkling." Of course. It's their fault. Everything was their _fucking_ fault!

Leah scrambled to the window, yanking it open and leaping trough it. She hit the ground running on all fours, teeth bared and body shaking with rage.

_Do you really think this is smart?_

_Are you gonna stop me?_ Leah asked. Her wolf didn't respond, just made Leah leap over a fallen tree that had almost tripped her up.

_Thanks._

_Your welcome,_ her wolf sighed, _anything I can do to make sure your suicide mission is a success._

Leah ignored her and pushed her self faster. Deep down, she knew it was stupid what she was about to do, but she had to do _something._ Someone had to pay for all the pain she had gone through.

The route to their territory had gotten familiar at this point, so it didn't take long before Leah was coming up on their house.

And of course they were all outside waiting on her.

"Leah, you really don't want to do this." The mind-reader. Just his face pissed her off. His invasive power was icing on the cake. She decided that he would be first.

Leah lounged at him, her jaws snapping about an inch away from his shoulder, with him dodging away at the last second. Leah barely skidded to a stop, before going for him again, this time aiming for his legs. Again, he dodged at the last second.

Leah growled in frustration. Why couldn't he just stay fucking _still?_ She was fuming, but forced herself to calm down enough to come up with a strategy.

_Your strategy should should be going home and hoping they forgive you attacking them on their land._

Leah ignored her and thought back to when they were training to fight the baby leech army. She remembered how good they all were, especially the mind-raper and the psychic. It had made her a little nervous, though she would never admit it, about maybe fighting them at some point, but them Embry pointed out how the little one's power didn't seem to work too well when they were around.

Leah smirked, and then ran for the mind-reader before he could pick up on what she was up to. She tried to keep her mind as blank as possible, like she did when she didn't want the pack in her head, as she went after him again and again. She figured it was working when he started to narrowly dodge her attacks.

"Leah, why don't you give this a rest? What ever your problem is we can sit down and discuss it peacefully."

Even though she could see the annoyance on his face, it still pissed Leah off how calm he sounded. She let the anger fuel her to keep going though, as she continued to attack him. She managed to get him to gradually move closer to were the rest of them were standing together, watching the show like impossibly beautiful fucking wax figures.

That pissed her off too, how they weren't helping him. They didn't think she was worth the effort, didn't think she was a threat.

They thought she was weak.

They would regret that.

She waited until they were close enough, and then she turned away from the mind-raper and went for the little one. Leah half expected her to leap away at the last second, like she did in training, but Leah got her.

Leah clamped down on her ankle, dragging her away from her now panicking coven. Leah shook her head furiously, letting the leaches scream of pain egg her on. The loud chink was music to her ears as she tore the leech's leg off at the knee. Leah wanted to howl in triumph, but restrained herself. It was time to go in for the kill.

Leah tossed the limb off to the side, loving the look of fear on the leaches face as she scuttled backwards. Good. She _should_ be scared of her, Leah was done being the weak link of the pack. She was a predator, and this leech was her prey.

Leah ran at full speed, leaping in the air ready to pounce and deliver the killing blow when a blur from her left knocked her to the ground.

She didn't even get the chance to look up before she was hurtling through the air. Leah yelped in pain as she hit a tree, then again as she hit the ground after falling at least ten feet. She managed to lift her head just in time to see the psychic leech's mate coming at her with a snarl.

He delivered a vicious kick to her ribs, lifting her off the ground, and reuniting her back with she same tree she hand just bounced off of. Before she could even attempt to move, the Leech was on top of her, wrapping its freezing hands around her neck and squeezing.

"Jazz, stop!"

The Leech squeezed tighter. Leah kicked her legs out, desperate to get away but the bloodsucker had an iron grip.

"Jazz! I'm, okay, Stop it!"

Leah couldn't keep up the fighting, trying to move felt like walking underwater. He was literally choking the life out of her.

"Jasper, you're killing her!"

"Jasper, son, that's enough!"

"Jazz, stop, please!"

Leah looked up at him, her vision spotty, and she silently urged him to do it. She was done fighting; it was a loosing battle in the end anyway. She thought of her mom and her brother as her mind drifted away.

 


	8. Day 8: Cooped Up

 

Her whole body was aching; her back, her ribs, her head (oh _god_ , her head), it felt like even her fingertips were sore.

_Well what do you expect when you try to take on an entire coven of vampires alone. You're lucky they didn't kill you._

_Unlucky is more like it,_ Leah thought, as she tried to sit up in the strange bed she was lying in. she winced at the jab of pain in her head at the action.

 _I told you not to joke like that! Do you know just how merciful they were young lady? You attacked them, in cold blood, on_ their _territory. They could have,_ should _have killed you, and would have been in perfect accordance with the treaty. I've never been too fond of their, but those Cullens definitely deserve baked goods of some sort. Well I guess they wouldn't have much use for those…. Maybe a nice floral arrangement, or a hand-written thank you note? How's your penmanship?_

 _I'm not thanking them for a damn thing!_ Leah shouted in her head, causing herself to wince at the pain. She mentally willed herself to calm down, but has that ever really worked well? _This is their fault. They're the reason I'm a fucking freak of nature in the first place, the least they could have done is made it all go away._

But no, they just come to town, ruin people's lives, put countless people in danger, and then take off when they get bored.

"We don't do it intentionally."

The voice startled her so badly that she nearly fell out of the bed. So much for super hearing. Leah glared at the, leech trying to pour as much hatred into it as she could manage, but it started to make her head hurt after a while.

"Carlisle had to attend to an emergency at the hospital, but when he gets home I'm sure he can give you something for the pain."

"See," Leah snapped, "There you go with that mind-raping shit! If someone wanted you to know what they were thinking they'd tell you."

Edward had the decency to look ashamed, but it didn't do much to appease Leah's temper. He was probably faking it.

"I'm not, I promise. I'm just so used to answering my family's thought's that I've began doing it subconsciously. Like I did just now. Sorry."

"Yeah, whatever."

They sat in a very uncomfortable silence while Leah perused the room. It was way fancier than anything she had ever seen. The room had to be a guest bedroom, and it was twice the size of her family's living room. One of the walls was entirely made of glass and Leah could see out into the forest. Her wolf whined inside her head, she was feeling cooped up and wanted out. Leah agreed, but for a different reason.

Girls like her didn't belong in places like this. Like a square block in a round hole; Leah just doesn't fit in here.

"Please, Leah," The leech said softly, "Just wait for Carlisle to get here. I promise none of us are going to hurt you."

Leah let of a heavy sigh, but nodded. She was done talking to him though, so she stared silently at the wall until he got the hint and left.

* * *

_I spy with my little eye, something... gold._

_The doorknob,_ Leah sighed.

_Yes! Okay, I spy with my little eye, something..._

_That book over there._

_Right again! Okay here's a tough one. I spy with my li-_

_The fucking bedspread!_

_Okay, how did you know? Are you cheating?_

Leah rolled her eyes. _You're in my head, idiot. I know what you think as soon as you think it._ Leah guessed wise didn't always equal smart.

 _Hey, I've been able to hide things from you before, remember?,_ her wolf said, I _guess were just becoming more I tune with each other is all._

 _Good. It'll be nice to have an even playing field for once._ Leah rolled her eyes as her hand came up of its own accord and lightly flicked her nose.

"You are so immature," She said, with a smile.

_I know you are, but what am I?_

"Do all you mutts talk to yourselves, or are you special?"

Leah's smile fell from her face as the blonde Leech made her presence known. It unnerved her that she didn't hear the chick coming. She had let her guard down for he second time; it wouldn't happen again.

"What do _you_ want, barbie?"

She stood in the doorway, all grace and elegance and long, flowing blonde hair. She was beautiful. It was equal parts irritating, intimidating, and infuriating. Leah sat up in the bed, and fixed one of her bitchier glares on her face.

The leech met Leah's glare with a pretty impressive one of her own. "I _want_ to know what the hell your problem is."

"Right now it's you, _princess_."

"You're in my house, _Hun_ , And I want to know where you get off coming into _our_ territory and attacking my sister. You're lucky Carlisle and Esme are so annoyingly compassionate, because if it were up to me-"

"What," Leah climbed out of bed, ignoring the stab of pain in her side as she stalk right up to the vampire. She was right in her face, so close that the thing's stench was making her nauseous. She breath through her mouth. "What exactly would you do, huh? Twirl your hair? I've seen you fight _cupcake_ , and I was _not_ impressed."

"I've killed grown men with out even breaking a nail, _Sweetie._ Trust me, you aren't a threat."

"I'll show you how much of a threat I am."

"Sure," She laughed, "You, all banged up with out your pack of mutts to back you up? I'm _so_ scared."

Leah growled low in her throat. Sure, her ribs were killing her, and her wolf was yelling at her to back down, but this bitch was trying her patience.

She could take her.

Leah was ready to take a swing at her when her mate burst through the door "Alright babe, time to go."

"Move Emmett. If the bitch wants a fight, I'll give her one."

Blondie shoved him to the side and lunged at Leah, but he caught her in the air with a hearty chuckle. "Come on rose, be nice. Carlisle said if we didn't take good care of our new puppy we'd have to send her back to the Pound, and I _really_ wanna keep her."

The big moron left the room with her wife slung over his shoulder kicking and screaming before Leah could tear into him about the puppy comment. She clenched her fists and began to pace the length of the room, forcing herself to take deep breaths.

You see, _this_ is what she was talking about; the vamps think they can do whatever they want, talk to people however they want.

_Gee, that, sounds familiar._

But not with her, Leah wasn't going to be anyone's doormat, and the next time they tried to treat her like one she'd rip them apart. With an enraged roar, Leah reared her fist back and launched it through the thick wooden door. Her eyes roved around the spacious room in search of something else she could destroy, settling on an expensive looking vase sitting on an end table in the corner.

She began to make her way over to it when a wave of tranquility hit her lick a freight train, the strength and suddenness of it brought her to her knees. She froze for a moment, hoping that whatever was happening would pass, but it just got stronger until Leah had to lay down.

 _Well_ , Her wolf said as Leah's eyelids began to droop, _now you owe them your life,_ and _a door._

* * *

Leah was sat up straight in the bed, her hands griping little too tightly at the plate on her lap. Her eyes were cast down, staring at the half eaten turkey sandwich on it. She never thought there was such a thing as a gourmet sandwich but this definitely was one. It had some sort of yellowish sauce that wasn't mustard, and a slice of cheese that she had seen those chefs on the food network use, but couldn't remember, or pronounce, the name of. It even had one of those toothpicks with the colorful stuff on the end stuck through it.

The "mother" vamp, Esme, Leah hated that it felt disrespectful to not use her name, but she drew the line at calling her ma'am, had come in with a gentle knock on the broken door about fifteen minutes after Leah had woken up from her little impromptu nap with a kind smile and a plate of sandwiches. Leah had insisted that she wasn't hungry but her growling stomach had given her away.

After she had left the room, Leah reluctantly set in, scarfing down the admittedly delicious food, and had the plate clean within a couple minutes. Esme came back with another plate a little while later, except this time she didn't leave.

_Say something._

_Like what?_ Leah shifted a little, feeling incredibly uncomfortable, and glanced at Esme. As they made eye contact, Leah looked away quickly, crossing her arms. _Look, just take over for me okay? The pleasantry crap has never been my thing._

 _Fine dear,_ Leah's wolf sighed, _but no complaining. I'll do this my way._

 _Whatever,_ Leah said, _just say something already. This is getting awkward._

"Thank you very much for the food. It was delicious. I hope it wasn't much trouble."

"Oh, of course dear! No trouble at all. The only time I get to prepare food is for Bella and she doesn't eat nearly as much as she should, so thank you. How are you feeling by the way? Edward mentioned that you were feeling some pain."

"A little, but I'll be fine, thank you ma'am."

_Ma'am? Okay, you're done. Let go._

_Well excuse me for trying to make you seem like you actually have manners…_

Leah took a deep breath as she felt herself slip back into control. She bit the inside of her cheek as she actually _thought_ about what she was gonna say before she said it. She wasn't going to kiss this lady's ass, but she didn't want to be rude either. "So when is the doc gonna get back? I really wanna head home now."

Esme frowned. "My husband had to spend a little extra time at the hospital to help with a few last minute patients, he should be home in about an hour or so. I know you're starting to get a bit antsy dear, but please let Carlisle take a look at you. We wouldn't feel right sending you home without making sure you're okay first."

Leah snorted despite herself. "Bullshit! I tried to kill one your coven mates, and you expect me to believe you wanna _help_ me? You things are probably trying to give me a lethal injection or something!"

"Yes." Esme said, her eyes hardening and seeming to pierce right Leah, who had to force herself to not look away. "You did try to kill my _daughter._ You came to my home and you attacked one of my children unprovoked and a part of me wants to rip your head off for it."

Leah finally broke eye contact when she saw a movement out of the corner of her eye. As Esme's milky white hand came up, Leah's eyes honed in on it, her body tensing. It felt as if time had shifted into slow motion as the hand came closer and closer to her face. Leah froze.

The hand came to rest on her face, gently cupping her cheek. It was cold, freezing actually, like touching dry ice. Leah squeezed her eyes shut so tightly she could see stars behind her lids, but still, she didn't move.

"But the bigger part of me realizes that you're lost and hurting so you lash out at the world. I've been there a few times since I've been on this earth, I can't hold that against you."

"But you should!" Leah snapped, pounding her fist into the mattress. Of course they'd have that memory foam crap. "I was gonna kill her, don't you get that? I would've tore her limb from limb! I would have burned every last piece, and even though you've all been nothing but nice to me I would've done the same to the rest of you! You all hate me, I know it."

"No, dear, we do-"

"You're lying" Leah Shouted, jumping to her feet and pointing an accusatory finger at Esme, "I know you're lying! You all hate me! Or at least you _should_ hate me! I _need_ you to hate me!"

Leah got a hold of herself, hand coming up to cover her mouth and prevent her from saying anything else incriminating.

"Why do you need us to hate you dear?" Esme said softly after a few moments of silence.

Leah bit the inside of her cheek, wondering if she could make the jump out of this window with her ribs so banged up.

_No._

_What do you mean no?_ Leah growled in her head, _what, are you gonna stop me?_

_Yes, I will. I won't make you tell her anything, that's up to you, but I'm not going to let you leave. it's for your own good._

_Well what the fuck am I supposed to tell her then, huh? Since you know every damn thing, you tell me what I'm supposed to tell her._

_The truth._

The truth. The words kept ringing in her ears long after her wolf had spoken them. Leah bit down on her cheek even harder, tasting blood on her tongue. She slowly sat back don on the bed, closed her eyes, and spoke.

"People liking me never turns out well in the long run. Someone always gets hurt."

"What makes you say that dear?"

"Because it's the truth! Everyone either leaves or dies. Hell, sometimes they do both! And I'm always the one left alone and I'm sick of it!"

 _Hey, calm down okay? Just take a breath and keep going._ Leah took a deep breath and relaxed her fists, she hadn't even realized she had been clenching them. "So yeah, I'm a bitch. I'm rude and mean and sarcastic and combative, but I'm all those things to protect myself because no one else is going to."

"Do you let them try?"

"...What?"

Esme moved towards her slowly, like you would a skittish animal, and Leah realized that's basically what she was in that moment. Her instincts were screaming at her to flee; this woman, this _thing,_ was her enemy, and she was getting way too close.

Both physically _and_ emotionally.

"I'm a mother, dear, and there's absolutely nothing I wouldn't do for my children. I can promise you that the same goes for your own mother. Your little brother, Seth, he talks about about all the time when he's here. And as for the rest of your pack, while I cant say I know them well, I can only imagine that they would be fiercely protective of you."

Her mom and brother were a given; family is supposed to love you, but she knows that not everyone's does so she should consider herself lucky. She had never had anything but the typical relationship with her family; her dad treated her like a princess, she had the normal arguments with her mother due to teenage rebellion, and her pesky little brother lived to annoy her. Then they phased, and her dad died and Leah realized that there were much wore things in life than an annoying little brother and parents who just didn't understand.

The pack was another story; they didn't like her. Sure, they _wanted_ her now, and she'd caught a few pervy thoughts before all this heat bullshit (apparently she had a great ass), but none of them, apart from Seth and Embry, actually enjoyed her company. She had phased only to be greeted with a collective groan on more than one occasion. But still, they were her pack, and she knew that when they were in their right minds, they would die for her.

She'd be willing to lose a limb or two for them. Maybe a toe or something.

Jacob's face suddenly flashed in her mind, and Leah suddenly felt guilty. She hadn't thought about him all day. They hadn't left things on the best terms after he savagely murdered her ex-boyfriend, so she really didn't get why.

_Stop. you're trying to distract yourself from the truth. You feel guilty because you know how devastated he'd be if your suicide mission had been a success._

_Please,_ Leah scoffed, _he'd be relieved, they all would in fact. The only reason he's been paying me an ounce of attention is because of the heat, without it he couldn't care less if I lived or died._

_Well I'll just leave this here then…_

Leah was assaulted by memories of the battle with the newborn leeches. With the images came the emotions she felt that day. Everything was so vivid, It was like it was all happening again.

 _Stop it,_ she hissed, _not now. Not_ here, _in front of_ them _._

_No, you need to realize something. You're fine, I've got you, just let it happen._

Against her better judgment, Leah took a deep breath, and let the memory wash over her.

Leading up to the battle, Leah was a mess. She had tried to hide it, though the pack mind prevented that from being a success. It was one of the only times she could remember feeling solidarity with her pack mates; they were all feeling the same things she was.

They felt inadequate; the Cullen's were all centuries old with so much experience, the pack was practically infants compared to them. Sure, they had trained, but were the ready? _Could_ they ever truly be ready?

They were worried; for their loved one's safety as well as their own. Everybody had someone they wanted to keep safe; their family and friends back on the rez, their imprints, _themselves_. Leah was terrified of those things somehow making it passed them and reaching her mother. And Seth, goofy, happy-go-lucky Seth who always had a smile for everyone and wouldn't hurt a fly. Her baby brother.

He was alone.

Sure, he was with Swan and her leech, but he wasn't with the pack. He wasn't with _her._ She couldn't watch his back, neither in person or through the pack mind. She had tried though, but they were both getting distracted. She was putting him in danger, which was the exact opposite of what she was trying to do. One of the scariest moments of her life was when she had to block him so that they could both focus. Thinking about it made chills run down her spine.

But mostly they felt fear. As they watched the leeches approach, looking feral, huger and hatred written plain as day in their blood red eyes, it was terrifying. But Sam had calmed them down. Sam; thinking about him made Leah want to hurl up all those fancy sandwiches, but the memory of him on that day had become on of her favorites.

He was so outwardly calm, even tough on the inside he was just as scared as the rest of them, but he kept his composure. He told them all to stay strong, to stare the leeches down and think about the people they were there to protect. He had thought of his mother, but mostly of Emily. Her scarred and beautiful face was in the forefront of his mind. She didn't like to praise him too often back then, but she couldn't help but think that he was a good alpha.

He had looked over at her and the two shared a short, but sweet smile. I was the first time Leah and been nice to him since they had become wolves, and she realized at that moment that now it would be the last.

_Okay, I feel like shit again, was that the point?_

_No,_ her wolf sighed, _it wasn't. The point was to make you realize how much they care about you. The pack is a family. You spend the majority of your time with those boys; you patrol with them, you share your thoughts with them, and you go into battle with them. Despite your differences, they_ are _your brothers. They don't show it because you insist on being combative all the time, but they all care about you._

Leah bit the inside of her cheek and thought of the battle again, this time on her own. It had felt like hours, but the fight was over fairly quickly. Everything had gone smoothly, and when Seth and Edward took out Victoria and her little friend, everyone let themselves relax.

The pack was having a mini celebration but of course, Leah had to venture off on her own. When she found the Leech hiding out, her first instinct was to howl, let the pack know that they had missed one. But they were all bragging about how many they had killed and Leah felt inadequate, like she had something to prove.

That thing would have killed her if it weren't for Jake. He dove in to help her with out a second thought, without any regard for his own safety.

Because he cared about her.

Leah looked back up at the patiently waiting, but expectant vampire, who she had honestly forgotten was there. "You clearly have people who want to take care of you, but do you let them?"

"I guess not. I haven't really let people take care of me for a long time. Whenever someone tries I shut them out, chase them away. No wonder they mostly avoid me."

Esme seemed to pull a handkerchief out of thin air and held it out to her. Leah touched her face and realized she was crying. Fuck. Time to pull it together.

"Your friends and family want to be there for you Leah," Esme said, gently placing her hand on Leah's arm. It was ice cold, but oddly comforting. "but they can only do so much. it's up to you to show them that they're not wasting their time trying."

Esme gave her one last reassuring smile before leaving the room, leaving Leah alone with her thoughts. She had _a lot_ to think about.

* * *

The doc had finally made it back after a couple hours; apparently there was an accident outside of forks. A deer or something had jumped out in the middle of the road and caused a huge wreck. A lot of people were injured and one was in critical condition. Leah felt like an asshole for rushing him.

The doc was nice too, unfortunately, to nice to insult, but calling him doc was easier than calling him Carlise. He had asked her how she was doing and made small talk while he checked her up as if she hadn't tried to kill his daughter less than 24 hours ago. Leah was as polite as she could manage, which mostly meant that she responded to his questions with one word answers.

The longest sentence she said to him was asking when she could go home. "You're clear to leave now," he said with a soft smile that left Leah feeling guilty, "But I would suggest you stay at least until morning. Your body is still healing, you shouldn't try to push yourself before it's ready."

"I don't know," Leah said making eye contact for the first time. The doc's golden eyes made her feel so calm, almost safe, compared to the bright red of the newborns. "I don't wanna be anymore of a bother."

"Leah," He hesitantly put his hand on hers. She let him. "I know history and nature has us labeled us as enemies, but my family mean neither you nor your pack any harm. you're welcome here as long as you want, whenever you want."

Leah sighed, "Alright, ill stay till morning. Thanks."

He gave her enough pain meds to take down a horse but they only took the edge off Leah's pain. drifted off to a mostly peaceful sleep. A chill ran down her spine in the middle of the night, causing her to stir awake. She sat up in her temporary bed, pinching the bridge of her nose. The meds had worn off and she was feeling the dull ache of her body healing itself again.

Her wolf's sudden jolt of panic had her on alert just a second before an ice cold hand was wrapped around her neck.

She tried to pry the hand off to no avail, and she was forced back down on the bed. Weight settled on top of her as a sense of calm rushed through her body. Leah's sight was much better than a human's, but she still couldn't see in the dark, so she had no idea who her attacker was until she felt his face pull in close to her ear. His seething whisper made goosebumps sprout on the surface of her skin.

"I should have and _would_ have killed you if my family hadn't stopped me. If you ever attempt to hurt one of them, or my wife again, I promise that what I do to you will be so much worse than death. This is your first and last warning."

He was gone just as soon as he came. Leah never fell back asleep.

 


	9. Day 9: So Long

 

Leah ended up slipping out of the Cullen home before sunrise, not that the early hour mattered much; They don't sleep. The scarred leech, _Jasper_ , had succeeded in scaring the living hell out of her. She held out as long as she could, but her nerves and her instincts finally convinced her that it was time to bolt.

She was more than happy to be out of there, but felt a little guilty about not thanking Esme and the doc. She hoped the mind-raper would make himself useful and convey her gratitude.

She carefully climbed out of the guest bedroom window, landing from the second floor drop in a crouch, wincing a little at the slight pain in her ribs. She looked up at the Cullen house. She owed them her life; she hated owing people.

Leah shook her head with a sigh and started the walk back towards town, disappearing into the trees.

The walk home was slow going, since Leah had decided against phasing. The shift, while Leah had gotten used to it, was abrupt and jarring; With her ribs still healing, she didn't want to risk the potential pain.

She hated how jumpy she was, though she felt it was justified, she hadn't had the best luck walking through the woods on her own lately. One squirrel chased another up a tree to her right and she nearly jumped out of her skin. She let herself relax a little as she had made it out of the cover of the trees and into Forks.

It was still early, so there wasn't too many people out save for the occasional person heading to work. She passed an old woman sitting on her porch, tossing breadcrumbs to a small flock a birds. The women noticed Leah watching and smiled up at her. After a second of hesitation, Leah smiled back then quickly looked away.

The smile felt weird on her face, people rarely smiled at her anymore. She rarely smiled herself anymore.

Leah looked around her at all the nice, middle class homes in the quiet little neighborhood. Some people would say it was boring, that they dreamed of being in some big fancy city filled with exciting people to mingle with, but La Push was all Leah had ever known; this _was_ fancy to her.

And it's not like she had a lack of excitement in her life at the moment.

* * *

Leah bit the inside of her cheek to contain the sigh that was working its way out of her as she crossed over the border. La Push was her home, and she would always have a place in her heart for it, but there was too much history here. She thought of her near empty pickle-bank with a sigh; she really needed a new job.

It was like her stepping on La Push soil set off an alarm or something, because Leah had been on the Rez for no more than a few seconds before two wolves were running out of the trees to block her path. Leah was ready to bolt in the other direction before she realized it was just Seth and Embry.

Guilt hit her immediately when she saw her brother. What he and her mother must have felt when they heard about what she tried to do, it made Leah want to puke.

"Look, Seth, let me just,-"

Seth phased and immediately wrapped her up in a hug. She bit her lip to hide a wince at the pain in her ribs that the movement caused.

"Shut up. don't try to make it better, you'll just make me mad and I _just_ stopped being mad." Leah kept her mouth shut and waited, enjoying the feeling of her little brother's warm, loving embrace. It should have been weird, considering he was nude, but she barely noticed that sort of thing anymore.

They hugged for at least a full minute. Leah didn't start to feel awkward about it until she looked over his shoulder at Embry, who was looking back at her with a goofy smile on his face.

"Alright, I'm good," Seth said as he finally ended the hug, but kept a firm hold on her shoulders as if he thought she would run off if he wasn't holding on to her. "You can't keep doing this Leah, it's not fair."

"I know-"

"No you don't! You don't know because if you did you wouldn't keep doing it! Mom woke up early yesterday morning and made breakfast. She wanted to show us how much she loved us, how happy she was that we were both safe _at_ _home_. Do you know how she felt when she realized you weren't there? How much she cried?"

"Seth-"

"No," he interrupted her, "you don't know because you weren't there, _I_ was. I was the one holding her while she cried, I was the one telling her that you were gonna come back when I didn't even know if that was true or not. So don't tell me that 'you know', or that 'you're sorry', just don't leave again!"

Leah felt her heart break at the sight of her little brother's pleading face trying to hold back tears. She pulled him into another hug as her own tears started to fall. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay." He let it go then, sobbing into her shoulder, and she sobbed with him. Her dreams of getting away from this place were pushed aside by the new dream of never seeing her little brother hurting like this again.

* * *

Tears were a surprising but welcome start to Leah's day. She had cried more in the last week than she had the last year or so, save for the month her dad died, that is. That was a time she had voluntarily let her walls down and allowed herself to grieve with her family.

Her and Seth had stood there for a while, in the middle of the road, her in an oversized t shirt one of the Cullen's had left for her, and him butt ass naked, as they hugged while bawling their eyes out. Luckily, people in La push don't leave often and people outside of La push barely visited; it would have been a very hard sight to explain.

After collecting themselves, the two headed back to town, meeting up with Embry a little ways down the road. She hadn't noticed him walking away in the moment.

"Well wasn't that a heartwarming family bonding moment. It nearly brought me to tears," Embry laughed as Seth shoved him lightly and Leah flipped him off. "But seriously though, no more running off?"

"Yeah," she sighed, "I'm done doing that."

"Good," He nodded, "I don't know why you didn't say anything in the first place, one of us would have went with you. How was it anyway?"

"...What?"

"The trip the Cullen's," Embry said slowly, like she was stupid. She was too caught of guard to be pissed about it. "Wasn't the whole point of you going over there so that the doctor could tell you more about your heat? That's what Jake said anyway..."

"Oh, yeah. It went pretty well I guess. He didn't tell me anything I didn't already know."

"Then why'd you have to stay so long then?" Seth spoke up, "You were there all day. Mom would have went crazy if Jake hadn't called and told us where you were. You really need to get a new phone, by the way."

"He just wanted to be really thorough. Trust me, I wanted out of there as soon as possible but they really wanted to help. They're nice I guess."

"Told you so," He said smugly. "So you gonna come with me next time I go to visit? You should come too Embry, you'll like them. Esme makes the best food."

Leah let out a relieved sigh, realizing she had been holding her breath throughout the exchange. Obviously Jake knew why she really went to the Cullen's and had covered for her with her family, but she couldn't figure out why. As the three of made their way into town, Seth talking Embry's ear off, Leah decided that she needed to have another talk with Jake.

Those were always _so_ much fun.

* * *

The tears were once again abundant once again when Leah got home. Her mother reacted much the same way Seth did when she saw her; first anger, then crying hugs. That must be where he got it from.

There was a lump in Leah's throat the whole time Sue was recalling how worried she had been. The guilt was like a dark cloud hanging over her head as she thought of how her mother would feel after losing her husband and her daughter within a year of each other if her suicide run had been a success.

She had assured her mother that she wouldn't run off without telling someone again and Leah meant that wholeheartedly, but when she looked in her mother's eyes, though Sue had smiled and nodded, Leah could tell that she didn't believe her. It hurt to know that your family had lost faith in you.

_Well you'll just have to prove her wrong then._

_So you don't believe me either?_ Leah sighed. Her wolf hadn't spoke to her since last night. Leah was starting to accept the fact that she missed her if she was quiet for too long.

 _I'm a part of you dear, I know you. I know how badly you want to leave this place and all the bad memories it holds, but I also know that your family means the world to you and how badly you don't want to hurt them anymore. So if you really mean what you say, don't tell them that,_ show _them._

Leah nodded, determined to do just that.

* * *

Later that evening Leah decided, after informing her mother and leaving through the front door, that it was time to go see Jake.

She had walked over to his house without calling, not wanting to give him, or herself, the chance to back out. She'd just have to hope he was home.

She made it there just as the sun was starting to go down. Billy's truck wasn't outside, which was good because Leah didn't want an audience for this conversation. Also, she didn't like him all that much. She took a deep breath to settle the nerves that were starting to stir and went to knock on the door just as it opened.

Jake. He was naked.

Her stomach twisted itself in knots as Leah looked him up and down. He looked good. Like damn. She tried to tear her eyes away from _it,_ but she couldn't do it. It had been _so lon_ _g._

"Still haven't kicked the staring habit I see," his voice snapped Leah out of the trance she had fallen under and she was able to see the cocky little smirk on his face. Asshole. "What are you doing here?"

"You know we need to talk about yesterday...and the day before."

Jake's smirk turned into a pained grimace. "Yeah, I know. I was going for a run, You wanna join?"

"...Yeah, sure." He walked past her, goosebumps sprouting on her skin as his shoulder gently brushed hers, before phasing and taking off into the woods in a light trot. After a few seconds of hesitation, Leah followed him.

The phase felt so natural and good, like a morning stretch. Her ribs were pretty much healed at this point and there was no pain, but Leah did notice that she didn't feel the underlying disgust at being in her wolf form that she used to.

She broke into a light jog to catch up with him, but as soon as they were side by side, Jake sped up. They continued like that for a while; Jake going a little faster each time Leah caught up with him.

" _What the hell are you doing?"_ she tried to look into his thoughts but he was blocking her. Leah was just about to stop when she realized what was going on; he was trying to race her.

" _Finally. I was starting to get bored."_

Leah ignored the sarcasm in favor of breaking out into a full on run. She was the fastest wolf in the pack and her pride wouldn't let him win.

Jake looked over his shoulder at her with a smirk and broke into a run as well. He kept the lead for a bit, until he made a turn off the trail, that was his mistake. He was bigger and not as agile as she was; the trees that he had to slow down to avoid Leah weaved through with ease. She eventually gained the lead, Jake nipping playfully at her tail as she passed.

Feeling pretty confident, Leah decided to rub it in a little. She slowed down so that they were side by side, before turning on a dime in front of him and coming around on his other side. She did this two more times, making sure to look him dead in the eye each time she did. Jake was not amused.

He threw his body in to hers and the two rolled off to the side together before settling in a heap.

" _You are such a sore loser,"_ Leah thought, panting as she rolled off of him. She looked over at the frown on his face and laughed a little. She hadn't had that much fun in a while.

" _And you're a show-off."_ His lip was poked out like a toddler throwing a tantrum and Leah couldn't help but laugh again. He joined after a few seconds. Their laughter broke of when they felt the familiar shifting in the air that indicated someone had phased.

" _Hey Jake, what are you doing out here? Have you seen Leah? She was supposed to be- oh hey sis! Long time no hear. What are you two up to?"_

" _I see you guys were having fun,"_ Embry said, phasing and joining Seth. _"Hope were not interrupting anything..."_

" _You_ are _actually,"_ Jake snapped, " _Why are you two out here?"_

" _We're on patrol,_ _one of the extra ones that_ you _scheduled_. _"_

" _I_ _scheduled_ Seth _for this patrol, why are both of you out here?"_

" _Because patrolling by yourself is boring,"_ Seth answered, _"That's why Sam always had us_ _patrol_ _in pairs- ow!"_

Leah saw Embry nip at Seth through the bond, but the damage was already sound of _his_ name had already caused a jolt of pain in Leah's chest.

" _Well things are different now. I don't care if you patrol together, but the extra shifts still need to be covered. We've got this one though, so you to can leave."_

" _Works for me," Embry said, "See ya." He phased without another word._

" _Wait, so does this mean I have to cover your shift in the morning? Because that's really_ _early and I don't think I can-"_

" _I've got that one too Seth, go away."_

" _Fine, fine. See ya later. Bye sis."_

" _Bye,"_ Leah said softly before Seth phased and everything was quiet. She took a deep breath and tried to calm her self down. She was thrust back into the pack so quickly she didn't have time to collect her thoughts before they were at danger of being on display.

She phased back to her human form and scooted her back up against a tree, squeezing her eyes shut tight.

"Are you alright?" Jake asked after phasing and scooting to sit next to her.

"The others, where are they?"

"At home I guess," Jake shrugged, "I ordered them not to phase until your heat is over."

Leah nodded. "Thanks." She could breath a little easier now without the threat of one of the other pack members coming after her. She was ready to go home though. She had lost her nerve and the last thing she felt like doing at the moment was talk about _him._

"Look, about Sam-"

"Don't say his name!"

"I don't wanna talk about it either-"

"Then don't."

"You came to me!" Jake snapped. " _you're_ the one who came to me wanting to talk and that's what we're gonna do. Not talking about stuff is what keeps getting us in trouble."

"Well look at you being mature," Leah snorted.

"One of us has to be."

He was right, one of the had to be mature and it _should_ have been her. She dug her fingers into the soft, slightly damp earth and took a deep breath, letting all the feelings she had been stamping down come up to the surface.

"You killed him. You _killed_ him Jake, how _could_ you?"

"I didn't want to, Leah I had too." he wrapped his arms tightly around his body, as if he was trying to keep himself together. "They were gonna- I could _hear_ what they were gonna do to you Leah, and it made me sick. Sam was the loudest, he was yelling at me about how he was going take the alpha position back from me and how he was gonna take _you_ from me-"

"I'm not yours!"

"I know that!" Jake paused to take a few deep, calming breaths. "Trust me, I know. But my wolf doesn't. As far as he's concerned you're his and Sam was threatening to take you away and he was angry. He was _so angry_. I tried to stop Leah, you have to believe that. I tried as hard as I could but he _made_ me. I couldn't stop him, Leah, you have to believe me."

He sounded so defeated. And Leah did believe him; Her wolf has done the same thing to her in the past, though not to that extreme. While she could admit that she had grown fairly close to her wolf lately, there was a part of Leah that would always resent the level of control that she held.

"I believe you Jake. I know what it feels like to _literally_ not have control over you're actions, but you have to understand that I watched you kill him. He was my first love and yeah, I hated him for what he did to me, but I watched him die. I watched you kill him and it's gonna take me awhile to get over that."

"I know," Jake said softly. Leah reached over to wipe away a tear that had trailed down his cheek. His seem surprised, either by the action or the fact that he was crying. She didn't think he had realized.

"I just don't want you to hate me. Me and Embry barely even talk anymore, Quil like a different person now, and Bella doesn't want anything to do with me. I know you don't like me all that much but I don't think I could take it if you hated me."

"I don't hate you, Jake. And I thought we already established that I sorta like you, or did you forget?"

"No, I didn't forget," He said with a ghost of a smile. It reminded Leah of simpler times, when he used to smile a lot more. Before supernatural bullshit ruined all of their lives. "There's just been so much going on we haven't had time to continue that talk."

Her hand was still on his cheek, and at some point his hand had made it's way to the small of her back and all of a sudden Leah was distracted. They were sitting so close their thighs were touching. His body heat was making her feel warm in all the right places.

"I don't feel like talking anymore."

"Alright. What do you wanna do then?" His fingers were tracing light circles on her back and it was hard to focus.

"It's late. I should probably go."

But Leah didn't want to go. She wanted him to keep touching her like he was, because it had been _so long_ since anyone had touched her that wasn't Embry or Seth or her mother. Someone who _wanted_ her the way that Jake did, and she knew he wanted her because of the way he was looking at her. And she knew that she should back away, that she should get herself together because this was not the time or the place to do what she wanted to do with him.

But she wanted it so bad. It had been _so long_.

She was on him before she had a chance to stop her self, attacking his mouth with hers. She climbed into his lap, his arms wrapping around her waist as her fingers tangled themselves in his hair. It was good, but Leah wanted more. The lingering guilt she carried about possibly taking advantage of him was lifted when she reached down to take hold of him.

He cursed as Leah stoked him up and down and it brought a smile to her face. He wanted this just as bad as she did. She lifted herself up long enough to position him, before slamming herself back down. They both gasped at the suddenness of it, Jake's fingers digging into Leah's hips and her grip on his hair becoming almost painful.

It had been awhile, _so long_ , but it wasn't her first time, and It wasn't long before Leah was moving. She lifted up and slammed back down with a sense of urgency. The felling of being full had been a stranger to her for so long that she was eager to reclaim it

She was lost in the feeling, throwing her head back as she moved. She growled as she was suddenly flipped over onto her back, Jake smothering the sound with his mouth on hers. The loss of control was both infuriating and exciting as he slowly pulled nearly all the way out before pushing in just as slowly.

Leah needed more. She growled again, raking her fingernails across his back in her impatience. Jake lifted up to grab hold of her wrists, pinning them above her head before leaning back down, kissing up and down the side of her neck.

Leah relented, letting herself enjoy the feeling of his weight on top of her. It wasn't long though, until she was squirming underneath him. "Faster," she ordered.

Jake obeyed, increasing his pace slightly. It was better, but not enough. "Faster," She growled out again, wrestling in his hold. She may be the fastest wolf, but he was definitely stronger. His grip didn't budge, but he did speed up a bit more.

She moaned out in ecstasy at the feeling, and that seemed to egg him on as he moved faster and faster, his thrusts slamming into her harder and harder. "Jake..." She moaned. He groaned in her ear, relinquishing his hold on her wrists and digging his hands into the earth on the side of her head.

He was panting in her ear, his thrusts becoming frantic and irregular. Leah knew he was getting close. She caressed his back as she moaned, "don't stop." She could barely breath as the pleasure rolled through her body. She wrapped her arms around his neck, hers teeth clamping down on the shell of his ear as her climax hit her.

"I'm g-" Jake stuttered as his own release followed soon after. He moved wildly a few more times before stilling, his body going stiff.

Everything in the Forrest was still and silent, save for their labored pants. After a few moments Jake rolled of of her. He settled next to her with a sated sigh, reaching to grab hold of her hand. Leah frowned at the intimacy of the action, realizing how odd that was after what they had just done.

She looked up at the moon hanging high above their heads with a sense of both relief and dread.

What did she just get herself into?


	10. Day 10: Farewell

Jake awoke to droplets of rain falling on his forehead; not heavy rain, but enough that he couldn't ignore it any longer. He sat up with a happy sigh, brushing his hand through his hair. A smile slowly crept up onto his face as he recalled the events of last night. He was officially no longer a virgin, and _god_ it was so great.

_Technically it was your second time, but congrats kid. I've got to admit, I didn't think you could pull it off. I guess I've just gotten so used to you fucking everything up all the time._

Jake clenched his jaw tight, determined to not let his wolf ruin his good mood. They've been so rare lately. He turned his head to look for Leah, but she was nowhere to be found. Her scent had practically been branded into his memory at this point, _especially_ after last night, but it was faint now; she had left a while ago.

He stood with a sigh and headed towards his house. He had no idea what time it was, since he still hadn't gotten a new phone, but he hoped his dad hadn't made it home yet. He had went to Charlie's to watch some game which meant that he would probably show up around noon with a headache and looking for food.

When he got there he saw his dad's truck in the driveway and sighed; he could feel a lecture coming.

It was a valiant attempt, but being 6'7 coupled with the creaky floor of the old black house did not make it easy for Jake to sneak to his bedroom.

"Jacob?" Jake thought about bolting out the door as he heard his dad wheeling into the living room, but he sighed and stayed put. "Where have you been?"

"I was on patrol. I left really early this morning, you weren't back yet."

"Don't lie to me boy! Your bed hasn't been slept in and I know you didn't make it before you left because the only time you do that is when I tell you to. You where out all night, admit it."

"Okay fine, I was, but so were you! You probably just got here. And I'mnot the one whose hungover on a Wednesday afternoon!"

"Hey, I'm an adult," Billy said, looking a bit embarrassed, "If I want to have a few drinks with a friend on occasion-"

"On occasion," Jake scoffs, "Sure, sure, so all those empty cans in the trash must have been left behind from the beer-fairy."

"Sit down," Billy said through gritted teeth. He was turning red.

"I'm gonna go take a shower-"

"SIT DOWN!"

Jake froze in his tracks as the sound reverberated throughout the small house. He couldn't remember the last time his father yelled at him.

He moved to sit on the couch, opposite of where his dad sat in his chair, and waited for him to speak.

"Look, I know there's a lot going on right now, but that's no reason for you to be disrespectful."

"I wasn't trying to be disrespectful, I just-" Jake paused, worried that saying what was on his mind would hurt his father's feelings. "Rachel and Rebecca took off and all of a sudden I had to do everything. I have to make sure there's food in the fridge and that the bills are paid because you always forget.

"I have to make sure you're eating right and that you're not drinking too much and that you get enough exercise and its exhausting! it's like all I do is take care of you, and now I have to take care of the pack and I have no idea what the hell I'm doing, which is why I didn't wanna be alpha in the first place!

"You were disappointed in me. Sure, you acted like it was no big deal but you hated that I turned down 'my birth right', as if I ever asked for any of this in the first place! there's just so much weight on my shoulders all the time i'm tired of it! I just wanna be a kid."

Jake felt about ten pounds lighter after his rant, but the weight of guilt made him feel even worse when he saw the look on his father's face.

Hurt.

"I never meant to burden you-"

"No, dad, that's not what I meant! I don't mind helping you with stuff, but you're not even trying to help yourself. It's like..." Jake's tongue felt heavy in his mouth. "It's like you don't even care if you live or die."

"Of course I care." Billy wheeled himself closer to his son and gently laid his hand on Jake's knee. Jake oculd feel tears start to build up that he quickly blinked away. He was alpha; he wasn't allowed to cry.

"It doesn't seem like it. Mom's gone, I'm not ready for you to be gone too."

Billy started to cry and that's when Jake lost it. He could count the number of times he'd seen his dad cry on one hand; when Rachel left for college, on Rebecca's wedding day, and the night of his mom's funeral.

Billy didn't cry during, or any time leading up to the funeral, and Jake remembered being mad about that. He loved his mother so much, knowing that she was gone forever brought tears to his eyes every time he thought about it. In his mind, his father not crying meant that he didn't care.

He had slept in Rachel and Rebecca's room that night; he didn't want to be alone, and they hadn't minded him being around for once, but he couldn't sleep. He had went to his parent's bedroom, hoping to sleep there, and what he saw shocked.

His father was sat up in his bed, clutching his mother's pillow to his chest and bawling his eyes out.

The house was old, even back then, so of course billy looked up when he heard the door creak open. He met Jake's eyes and his shoulders slumped in defeat. Without thinking, Jake climbed into bed with him and wrapped his little arms around his dad as far as they would go. that's when Jake realized , as his dad sobbed into is hair, that billy hadn't cried not because he didn't care, but because he wanted to be strong for his children.

Siting across from him as he cried now made Jake think of that memory and realize that as stressed as he was about being the "man" of the house, his father had been feeling that stress as well.

"I never meant to make you feel like everything was on you, son. it's just that when I got stuck in this damn chair," Billy pounded his fist against the arm of his wheelchair, "You really stepped up to take care of things around here. Lord knows the twins didn't; they were looking for the first tickets out of here."

Rachel and Rebecca had become somewhat of a sore topic in the black house. It hurt for them to be here after their mom, and Jake got that, but him and Billy were hurting too. He loved them, but jake would always hold a bit of resentment over them running off.

"I guess I was just...depressed," Billy continued, the words sounding strange, like he had never said them out loud before. "It was nice to not have to handle things so I took advantage and that was wrong of me. I'm the adult here and it's time I start acting like it."

They took a moment to collect themselves before Billy said, "So, I need you to keep me in the loop. No more staying out all not without me knowing where you are. If it's pack related that's fine, but a quick phone call wont kill you."

"Alright dad." It was an odd feeling being disciplined after doing whatever he wanted for so long. It was nice though; he knew his dad loved him, but he hadn't felt like he _cared_ in such a long time.

"Good. So where where you last night?"

Jake sighed, "I was with Leah..." He waited for the excitement but it never came. "Well, is that it? You don't have anything to say."

Billy shrugged, "What do you want me to say? We don't need to have the sex talk again do we?"

"Definitely not," Jake answered quickly, "But I expected you to be a little more excited, I mean, you've been practically planning our wedding."

"Oh, that," Billy sighed, "Well since were being honest, I don't really care much for Leah; she was such a sweet girl, and she didn't deserve what happened to her, but it made her spiteful, and I don't think that's the best influence for you to be around. But, I thought she'd be a better target for your infatuation then Bella."

A month ago Jake would have insisted that Bella was his one true love, but now, infatuation seemed like a pretty good description of how he felt about her.

"But why? I thought you liked Bella."

"I do," he insisted, "Bella's almost like a daughter to me but trouble follows her like a moth to a flame. I don't want you wrapped up in it more than you have been already." He hesitated, choosing his words carefully. "And also I figured when the Cullen's finally take off again she would follow them, and you would follow her. I thought that if you were with Leah you would stick around a little longer."

"Dad i'm not going anywhere, ok? The Pack is here, _you're_ here, this is my home. I don't want to leave, so you don't have to keep worrying about that."

"Alright, son," Billy sounded relieved, as he leaned over and to hug his son. "Now go put some clothes on; I've seen enough of you today."

"Don't be Jealous, old man," Jake laughed as he stood. "I'm gonna go grab a shower." he was feeling better than he had in a while and actually looking forward to spending some time with his dad."

"Alright. I already laid your suit out for you."

Jake stopped in his tracks. "My suit? For what?"

"For the funeral," Billy said slowly, "Sam's funeral. Don't tell me you forgot."

He _did_ forget. How do you forget about the funeral of someone you've known your entire life? Someone you _killed_? He was a terrible person.

No one had heard from Emily or Sam's mom since they found out about his death. The two had been holed up at Sam and Emily's ever since, not answering the door or phone. Then yesterday, old Quil had let everyone know that they had scheduled the funeral for today. There was just so much going on with Leah that Jake guessed it had slipped his mind.

Just like, he just realized, he had forgotten to tell Leah.

* * *

"Ow mom, it's too tight! Why do I have to wear a tie anyway?"

"Because it's a _funeral,_ Seth. Now stop fidgeting. I swear, you can run off to fight a vampire with no problem, but a tie has you whining like a baby..."

Leah tried to tune out the muffled voices of her family as she tried to collect herself. She wasn't doing a good job. Her hair was plastered to her forehead due to the cold sweats she had been experiencing every since her mother informed her about what was on the agenda for the day.

Chills ran down her spine at the thought of it.

_Take some deep breaths, dear. Try to calm down._

Leah did as her wolf said, breathing in deeply through her nose, before slowly exhaling. She did this a few times until she started to feel a bit better.

_Now, splash some water on your face. you'll be fine._

The cool water felt so great on her over heated skin that she decided to hop in the shower. Seth had been in here before her and had of course used up all the hot water, but Leah was glad for it; the icy spray helped to calm her down enough that she could think clearly.

She had made it home early morning, before the sun had come up, hoping to slip in unnoticed, but Seth had popped up at the sound of the front door opening. Him and her mother had fallen asleep on the couch waiting up for her.

Funny how they didn't tell her then…

_They probably thought you would run off again if they did._

Leah sighed _I can't wait until I don't have that looming over my head anymore._

_Well it's only been a day. Just keep being consistent and they'll start to trust you again._

Leah took her time, making sure that every inch of her body was squeaky clean. When she had decided she'd wasted enough time and water, she got out. She grabbed her towel and started drying herself off, again, taking her time. After about a half an hour, her mother knocked on the door.

"Leah, are you almost ready? We have to leave soon."

Leah sighed, wrapping the towel around herself and opening the door. "I can't go."

"You _can_ go honey, you just don't want to."

That sounded like the same thing to her. "Fine, I don't _want_ to go. It just happened, mom, I can't see him again so soon."

"That's how I felt when your father died." Leah frowned; they don't talk about her dad often. "I didn't want to go either. The thought of seeing him laying there like that…" Sue paused a moment. "But I knew I had to. The situation was different, of course, because I had you kids to think about, but if I didn't? Who knows what I would have done."

She moved to wipe away a tear Leah hadn't realized had started to fall with her thumb. God, she was so fucking tired of crying. "I can't make you go, Leah, I wouldn't even if I could, but I think you'll look back on this day with regret if you don't."

Sue wrapped her daughter up in a tight hug before leaving. Leah sat down on the edge of the tub and lost herself in her thoughts. She held her breath as she listened to her mother herd Seth out the door and into the car.

"Where's Leah? Is she not coming?"

There was a moments pause before Leah heard her mother's sigh. "No, she isn't. Let's go, we don't want to be late."

She bit down hard on her lip as she listened to the car start up and pull out of the driveway. The taste of blood on her tongue helped her forget about the disappointment in her mother's voice.

* * *

Jake loosened his tie, feeling like his Adam's apple had swelled about three sizes. He had argued with his dad about wearing it, but the old man had put his foot down. Jake had a feeling he would start doing that a lot.

It wasn't just the tie though; it was the dress shoes that hurt his feet, the pants that stopped an inch above his ankles, the shirt that he was afraid to take a deep breath in out fear of popping a button. He hadn't worn a suit since his mother died, so everything save for his socks and underwear were his father's hand-me -downs. He was _so_ uncomfortable. Jake wished he didn't have to wear this stuff.

He wished he wasn't here. He _shouldn't_ be here.

They were at first beach; most large gatherings happened there. There wasn't a building big enough to accommodate everyone on the reservation. And _everyone_ was here. That wasn't suprising though; everybody liked Sam. They were all mourning.

Jake sighed and looked up at the dark clouds looming overhead. They were the perfect backdrop for such a somber occasion. He was standing off by the edge of the ocean, watching the waves as they moved. It was definitely going to rain soon. He turned to look at crowd; everyone was looking a bit anxious. They had been here a while, a little over a half an hour, but Emily and Sam's mom hadn't shown up yet. They obviously couldn't start without them.

The sound of gravel crunching under tires made Jake look to where he saw the Clearwater's minivan pull up. He let out a disappointing sigh he didn't realize he was holding when he saw that Leah wasn't with them.

They made their way down the beach and Jake decided to meet them halfway. "Hey Seth… Mrs. Clearwater." Sue said nothing, just raised an eyebrow. Jake hadn't seen her since that night he found out about Leah's heat. "Um, I've been meaning to apologize for the way I acted before. There was a lot going on that night and I got a little heated, but that's no excuse to be disrespectful."

"You didn't disrespect _me_ , Jacob, you disrespected my _daughter._ I felt like you weren't taking her feelings into account, and I lost my temper, so I'll accept your apology if you accept mine."

"Uh, yeah," Jake said, not expecting this to go so well, "apology accepted."

Sue smiled and patted his shoulder. "You were always a good kid Jacob, Sarah would be proud of the man you're becoming."

She walked away to where his dad and old Quil were, leaving Seth staring down at his feet awkwardly and Jake holding back tears.

_Since when do they let little girls be alpha? You're pathetic._

"Where's Leah?" Jake ignored his wolf's taunting, which was getting harder and harder to do.

"At home," Seth shrugged, "She didn't wanna come. Can't really blame her though, I mean, it's _Sam_."

"Yeah..."

Seth's eyes widened comically. He might have laughed if the situation was different. "Dude, I didn't mean… I kinda forgot that you… you know."

"It's cool Seth, I know what you meant."

"About time," Jake heard old Quil mumble under his breath. He looked over his shoulder to see the old man hurrying over to meet Allison Uley and Emily as they made their way to the beach. His eyes zeroed in on urn Allison was carrying. Sam had been cremated, and they were supposed to sending his ashes out to sea. "Hey, I forgot something at home, I'll be back."

"But it's about to start," Seth called out after him.

"I'll be back in time." Jake took off at nearly a jog, yanking on his tie. He shouldn't be here. He had to go.

_Pussy._

* * *

It had been thirty minutes, and Leah still hadn't left her spot on the edge of the tub. She didn't want to go. She _shouldn't_ go, but she couldn't get over the feeling that she should. Her mother's warning about regretting the decision to skip the funeral was ringing in her ears; as if it was being yelled at her through a megaphone.

She stood and walked over to the sink, splashing some water on her face. A glance in the mirror showed that her hair was a frizzy mess from her recent shower. It was starting to get a little long; she'd have to cut it soon.

She looked the same as she usually did, save for the dark circles under her eyes. Sleep wasn't something that came to her easily these day and it was definitely showing.

_Nothing a little concealer wont fix._

_I don't have any…_ She had never been one for makeup; she just couldn't muster up the effort most day's. it's not like she had anyone to impress anyways. She remembered when her and Sam had first started dating; she had spent so much time obsessing over what she said, what she did, how she looked. Of course, he had just told her that he liked her the way she was.

He made her feel so strong and confidant. People thought she was, but it was all an act; Leah's just an insecure mess who's in over her head.

_You_ are _strong. You've made it through too much not to be. You didn't need Sam then, and you don't need him now. You just need to believe in yourself._

_That was corny_ Leah snorted, but it made her feel better. She could do this. She took and deep breath and headed for her bedroom.

It was time to say goodbye.

* * *

"Sam was… he was my best friend, my brother. I just can't believe he's-"

Jake's hands flew up to cover his ears so that he couldn't hear Jared's eulogy. The funeral started shortly after Allison and Emily arrived, being that they had waited so long. Old Quil was officiating the ceremony, and had opened with a few words. This was only the third funeral Jake had attended, the other two being his mother's and Harry Clearwater's, and the old man had lead all of them. Jake wondered who would take on the job when old Quil died.

One by one people stood to say a few words about Sam, and Jake had listened to it all in increasing heartache from behind one of the larger pieces of driftwood on the beach. He had sneaked back around here right before they started, thinking it wouldn't be a good idea for Allison or Emily to see him and not wanting to see them. He had known these people his whole life, so Jake recognized every voice that spoke. The words of those of the reservation that Jake wasn't terribly close to stung a bit, but weren't too bad.

When the pack started to speak was when it really started to hurt.

Quil had tried to inject humor into the situation, cracking a joke about Sam's "black heart", but got serious when it fell flat. Quil was hardly ever serious; his somber tone really made the finality of Sam's death hit home with Jake, as if it hadn't already.

Embry went next, starting with how he had gotten closer to Sam in the last few months, and how he was sad that he wouldn't get to continue growing their bond. It was a sweet and simple enough speech on the surface, but people in the know realized that it ran deeper.

Though he tried his best not to, Sam's thoughts always betrayed how awkward he felt being around Embry due to the looming question of who Embry's dad was, and the general consensus that it was probably Sam's dad. With Joshua being one of the few things to set Sam off, Embry tended to keep his distance so that he wouldn't cause him any pain.

The whole thing was sad and made Jake want to give his old friend a hug.

_Pussy._

Paul's speech had brought Jake out of his feelings a bit, because he and Jake had never really gotten along, but Paul speaking about his close friend while trying but ultimately failing to sound strong was still hard to hear.

But Jared's turn brought Jake right back to the overwhelming guilt he had been feeling up to this point. He squeezed his eyes shut so tightly that he started to get a headache, and waited for Jared to finish. A light touch to his shoulder caused him to nearly jump out of his skin.

Leah was there, dressed in her usual; cut-off jean shorts and a tank top. Her hair, which wasn't in its usual ponytail, was blowing lightly in the increasing wind.

The two stared at each other, her face seeming like the only thing in the world to him as Jared's voice faded out in the background. Jake's hands fell from his ears, moving to cup Leah's face gently. He was surprised that she let him.

They stayed that way for about a minute, which felt much longer, before Jake finally spoke. "I thought you weren't coming," he said in a hushed tone. The fact that they could still hear the funeral from as far away as they were meant that the pack would be able to hear them if they weren't quiet.

"So did I," she said, breaking eye contact to stare at the sand beneath their feet.

"What happened?"

Her gaze lifted and drifted over in the direction of the ceremony. "I realized that I would hate myself if I didn't. it's fucked up that this happened and we'll never stop feeling guilty about it, but we need closure, Jake. This is how we get it."

The level of strength that Leah held shouldn't have surprised him given how often she had shown it in the past, but it was still impressive. The only reason Jake wasn't at home wallowing in his self pity was because his dad had insisted. Despite the pain she knew it would cause her, she had come anyway. She was amazing.

_Maybe you should let_ her _be alpha, since you're so good at being a bitch._

"Shut the fuck up!" Jake's mouth snapped shut after the unintended outburst. There was a tense silence as the two listened for signs that they had been discovered, Jared's voice never paused.

"Your wolf?"

Jake nodded. "He keeps fucking _taunting_ me. It's getting harder to tune him out."

"Sorry. Mine's annoying sometimes, but were starting to get a long pretty well, I guess. Does he ever leave you alone?"

"Yeah, sometimes." _Usually when_ _I'm_ _with you,_ He finished in his head. He was saved from the snarky comment he could feel his wolf start to make by a new voice starting to speak.

"Sam was a good boy," Allison started, her voice shaky, as if she would start bawling at any second. Jake and Leah subconsciously moved out of cover to look at her. She was, understandably, a mess; her makeup was running and smeared, her hair frizzed, and her dress wrinkled, as if it had been picked up off the floor just before she left the house. Her arms were wrapped tightly around the urn. Leah stiffened next to him at the sight of it.

"He was a good _ma_ _n._ He was so young, my baby was so young and he's gone! It's not fair!"

Allison broke down, falling to the ground in her grief, but never losing her hold on the urn. Everyone was frozen in their seats, seeming to not know what to do. Jake and Leah were equally stunned, until they saw someone in the front row move from their seat. Emily.

She moved to Allison, dropping to her knees when she got their and wrapping the women in her arms, their bodies shaking with the older woman's sobs. Jake noticed Leah's breathing getting heavier, realizing that this must have been the first time she's seen Emily since Sam died.

There was a strength to Emily's voice that stood out in stark contrast with Allison's before her. It was like she had done all her crying and was determined not to do it in front of all the people there.

"Sam was kind. Strong. Brave. He loved this reservation and the people of it so much that he would have gladly given his life to protect them. He was the man of my dreams, the man that would have been my husband, and he's gone now. He was _taken."_

Jake winced at that, and Leah seemed to stop breathing all together.

The wind was starting to get strong, the crashing of the waves causing a few people to turn their eyes to the ocean or the darkening sky. Emily continued undisturbed.

"He was devoted to being a protector, to making sure _you people_ were safe, and what did it get him? It got him murdered. How is that fair, huh? How is that justice?"

"Emily!" Old Quil had gotten to his feet, the threat of their tribe's oldest and best kept secret being reveled snapping him out of his shock. The cover story for Sam's death was a cliff diving accident, the word "murder" had caused raised eyebrows and hushed questions.

"No," She hissed, "I'm not going to let this go! He should still be here, he should still be alive! I don't care about the fucking secret anymore, the secret got him killed and I'm not going to let them get away with it!"

Booming thunder punctuated her statement as heavy rain started to fall, thankfully distracting people from the spectacle in front of them as they rushed back up the beach to escape the storm and the rising tide. Emily's words rang in Jake's ears, and he was sure that he wouldn't be able to get the striking image of her hair whipping wildly in the wind out of his head.

He looked down at Leah, but her eyes were on something else. Following her line of sight, his stomach dropped. The wind had carried their, more importantly, _her,_ scent down the beach. Quil, Paul, and Jared's hungry gaze was locked on her.

_Mine,_ Jake's wolf growled. He could feel the wolves fighting against the order he had placed on them to stay away from Leah, but the more pressing issue was a livid Emily storming towards them.

"How dare you show up here," She demanded once she had made it to them, "after what you did? How fucking _dare_ you?"

Jake had never heard Emily swear before, I took him off guard. "Emily please, let me explain-"

"No! there's nothing you can say to make this right. You were his friend, He _trusted_ you-"

"It wasn't my fault," Jake rushed, "I swear I didn't want to-"

She reared her arm back and delivered a slap with so much force it had to have broken her hand, but she showed no indication of pain. Jake's moth snapped shut; he hadn't felt it, but it had _hurt._

"Shut the hell up! Don't you dare say another word. You murdered him, nothing you say will ever make it OK. You robbed an innocent man of his life and I hope his memory eats you alive."

The words were like a punch in the gut, and they left Jake absolutely devastated. He didn't have any time to recover though as Emily turned her anger on Leah.

"And _you_ ," she spit, sounding disgusted, "This is your fault. I tried so hard not to hurt you, we both did, but we were happy and you hated that. We were getting married, we were going to start a family we were finally going to move past you but you had to ruin it by being a freak."

Jake heard Leah's breath hitch in her throat, but she didn't move or speak, she just stood there and took it. "You killed harry. You were never supposed to phase, and when you did it scared him into a heart attack. Then, you go and have this heat thing and it gets him killed. You killed your father and you killed Sam."

Emily leveled her with one final, hate filled glare before turning, stalking past an enraged Sue being held back by Seth. Jake watched her meet up with Allison, who had gotten herself together and had been been expressionlessly watching the exchange while absently stroking her Son's urn. The two made their way off of the beach, and out of site.

Leah was stuck. Voices fell on deaf ears, people buzzing about around her were barely noticed. She could only see her cousin's face, full of malice as she stared at her. She could only hear her word's, "You killed your father and you killed Sam", and the way they had been practically spit at her replayed in her mind over and over and over again.

But she felt nothing.

* * *

Leah was numb and she loved it, relished it, because she had felt so much in this last week. Too much. She didn't want to feel anything anymore.

But Embry's reassuring hand on her shoulder, her brother's tight hug, her mother cupping her face, staring into her eyes and saying that none of it was true and that no one blamed her and asking her again and again if she understood was like a bucket of ice water being dumped onto her head. Their reassurance, their love was making her feel, and she didn't want to.

So she turned to the only person who wasn't talking, wasn't trying to make her feel better, because he was stuck just like she was. "I need to get out of here."

"Lets go," He said simply, because he understood. He felt the same way she did and Leah could tell by the urgency in which he grabbed her hand and dragged her away.

She let him lead, following absentmindedly as they made their way through the Forrest. She was grateful that they hadn't phased; she was fighting so hard to keep her own thoughts stamped down, she couldn't handle his too. Soon, they made it to his place. He pulled her through the front door which wasn't locked because no one in la push ever locked their front doors, and into his bedroom.

The closing door seemed to force him back to his frozen state, and it forced Leah to think.

She was right, there was no use trying to deny it. It was supposed to be Seth that phased, not her. It had never happened before and it shouldn't have, but something in her messed up brain made her phase and it had shocked, and probably scared, her dad so badly that his heart couldn't take it. And sure, he was already having heart problems, but she was the final blow.

And Sam, he was her fault too. Her stupid heat had turned all their lives upside down and it was because of her. If she had just given in and let Sam claim her that first night none of this would have happened. It wouldn't have been real, and it would have hurt Emily, but he would be alive right now, and wouldn't that have been better?

Her eyes shot to Jake's hands, which had moved to cover his ears. His eyes were shut tight and he started to bang his head against the door he was leaning against for support.

His wolf. Help him. Leah realized that her wolf was trying to distract her from the damaging thoughts but she welcomed the distraction. She didn't want to think.

"Hey, "she said covering his hands with hers, "It'll be okay. Just ignore him. Ignore him and he cant hurt you."

That wasn't true; their wolves had the power to hurt them, and anyone else, as much as they wanted to, but she lied anyway and apparently, it worked. After about a minute or so, Jake's eyes opened slowly, his gaze boring into hers. The look was heavy. There was something in it that Leah couldn't place and she didn't want to.

Instead she kissed him. She kissed him long and hard and he kissed back. Then her hands were in his hair and his hands were on the small of her back. Then she was ripping open the tight shirt he had on, buttons flying every which way and his hands were cupping her butt, lifting her up where she wrapped her legs around his waist. Her back hit the soft mattress of his tiny bed and his weight settled on top of her and suddenly she felt again.

But these were good feelings, feelings she didn't mind, so she let her mind go blank and let herself feel.

* * *

He woke in the middle of the night to his wolf screaming angry, ugly, demoralizing things at him. Jake sat up, covering his ears and hoping that he would stop soon, but he didn't, he just got louder and louder to the point where Jake could do nothing but rock back and forth in agony, pleading with him to stop. It went on for longer than Jake could keep track of and when it was over he was dripping with sweat.

He fell into a restless sleep trying to will the lingering migraine away.

* * *

She had slipped out form under his arm, managing to not wake him in the process. She had grabbed the first thing she could find, one of his t-shirts on the floor, and pulled it on, slipping out of his window.

She was moving with a sense of urgency, needing to make it there before she lost her nerve. She couldn't think of what she would say when she got there, only of how she would react when she saw her. Would she be able to say anything at all? She doubted it, but she had to try. She couldn't leave it like they did; she needed closure.

Leah ran as fast as her two legs would carry her, ignoring her wolf's strong suggestion of turning around, and made her way to their home.

The first the Leah noticed was that the door was open, just a crack. She listened for sounds of movement but heard nothing. She made her way in, slowly now, but her heart racing a mile a minute. Nothing looked out of place, but everything felt wrong. Maybe it was being in the house in general, Leah had always felt out of place in it, but her gut told her that something else was wrong.

She pushed open the bedroom door to see that the bed had been stripped. She wrenched open one of the dresser drawers to see that it was empty. Two more proved to be the same. Frantically she ripped out every drawer she found and everyone of them was empty. Her brain supplied what she had felt in her gut all along.

Emily was gone.


	11. Day 11: Here We Go

 

Leah brought her knees up to her chest were she sat. She was on the ground, her back pressed up against the back of the house. She shivered; not because she was cold, she couldn't remember the last time she was cold, but there was something in the air that was chilling.

She jumped slightly at a sudden banging from inside the house. Her mom and Billy were in there searching for clues, but it was pointless; there was no foul play here. Emily had packed her things and left.

Leah had driven her away.

She looked up at old Quil sitting in a chair they had brought out for him across from her, watching her with thinly veiled judgment. He knew it was her fault too.

She sighed as the old man checked his watch. They  _have_  been out here a while. Leah had ran back home to tell her mom that Emily was gone nearly an hour ago. She  _should've_ ran to her bed and pretended nothing was wrong.

_You did the right thing._

_Why is the right thing always so annoying?_

_Such is the plight of a good person, dear._

_Good person?_ Leah snorted, _I've never been one of those._

_Well_ I _Think you're a good person, and here comes someone who thinks so too…_

Leah looked up to see Jake coming through the trees, thankfully, already phased and dressed. She couldn't handle  _that_  right now. His eyes locked on to her almost immediately and she felt his gaze boring into her as he made his way towards them. She let hers fall on the old man's slippers.

"Did they find anything?"

"Does it  _look_  like they found anything boy? I damn sure wouldn't still be here if they did."

"Look all you had to say was-"

"Jacob." Billy and Sue came out of the house, interrupting Jake's response.

"Well, did you find anything?" Old Quil's tone was mocking. Leah watched Jake's jaw clench.

"Well," Billy started, "it looks like everything's there, all the valuables; TV, stereo, even her jewelry box is untouched. The only thing gone is her clothes. Sam's are all still there though..."

"What about Allison's house," Sue asked. She had come over to stand by where Leah was siting. Leah had scooted over so that her shoulder was against her mothers leg. It made her feel better.

"Pretty much the same, all her clothes were gone, but the pictures were gone out of their frames too. Her car wasn't their either."

"Well that's that, then," old Quil clapped his hands together. The sound echoed in the quiet of the night. "They left. Give us a call when you find them boy, I'm going back to bed."

"Wait!" The old man had left his seat and started for his home, sighing heavily at Jake's call. "What do mean 'find them'? So they left, what's the big deal?"

"Are you serious? Two people who are in on this reservations biggest, most well-kept secret, one of which is pissed off and threatening to spill said secret, are nowhere to be found, and you don't see the big deal?" His face was colored in contempt. "You stupid, _stupid_  little boy."

"Watch it Quil," Billy warned, as a voice behind them snagged all of their attention.

"Hello, everyone."

"Tiffany," Sue was the first to compose her self, "What are you doing out here so late?" Tiffany was in her robe, looking like she had just crept out of bed like the rest of them."

"Well, I've gotten used to waking up to check if Embry is home since he's been sneaking out ever since he started spending time with  _your_  children," She cut her eyes to Leah, "but he was in bed for once, so I decided to check up on Emily. She was so upset after the funeral, you know. And what about you all? What are  _you_  doing out here this time of night?"

"We were doing the same, actually."

"Really, all of you? At the same time?" The suspicion in her voice was as plain as day.

"Yes, really," old Quil said crossly, "and we were just about to head home. Billy, why don't you and Sue make sure she makes it home alright."

"Oh, I'm fine, no need to-"

"No, Tiffany, I insist," Sue hooked her arm with Tiffany's, "I would love to hear all about what you think of  _my_  children..."

"And  _that_  is why you need to find them," old Quil hissed once they were out of ear shot, "After Emily's little outburst, the tribe is more suspicious than ever. We need her here to help calm them down." He shook his head in disappointment. "This secret has been kept for centuries and as soon as you're in charge everything starts to fall apart. Fix it. Find her."

The two of them watch the old man shuffle off in silence. Leah looked up at Jake to see him shaking with rage, looking close to phasing.

"I'm trying," He said through clenched teeth, and Leah realized that he must have been talking to his wolf. "You're right, I  _don't_  know what I'm doing, but I never wanted this! I never wanted  _Any_  of this!"

"Jake..." Leah whispered standing to her feet.

"Shut up!" He cupped his hands over his ears and started muttering to himself.

_What do I do?_ Leah asked her wolf,  _What is he doing to him? You were never this bad._

_I- I don't know, just go to him. Try to calm him down._

"Jake, it's gonna be OK," Leah said, slowly making her way toward him, "just try to ignore him."

"Shut up! Shut the  _fuck_ Up!"

"Jake!" Leah yelled, rushing the rest of the way to him and grabbing his upper bicep. He flinched at her touch, but calmed almost immediately. "It's OK Jake, Ignore him, Just listen to me."

She wrapped her arms around him, Jake doing the same. He held her tightly, almost too tightly, burying his nose in the crook of her neck. "It's OK, it's alright,"She whispered to him as she rubbed a random pattern across his back. Her eyes drifted closed as she lost herself in his warm, musky scent.

She shook her head slightly, snapping herself out of whatever spell she was under just as Jake seemed to get a hold of himself.

"Thank you," He said, pulling back ever so slightly so that he could look her in the eyes. "Is this my shirt?"

His eyes trailed down to her chest and seemed to linger there. It wasn't a very thick shirt. "It was dark when I left," She said quickly, willing away the goosebumps on her skin, "I just grabbed the closest thing I could find."

Leah pulled away and Jake let her go with a hint of a frown on his face. "Why'd you leave anyway?" Leah didn't know how to put the answer into words, and she didn't feel like trying, so she settled for a shrug.

"Am I..." he trailed off, seeming unsure of his words, "Am I ever going to get to wake up with you next to me?" Leah cringed at the intimacy of the words, causing Jake to turn away from her with hurt written plain in his eyes. "Whatever, never mind."

"Jake, wait!" he had started to walk away. Leah rushed to him, grabbing at his wrist. "I like you-"

"Yeah, you've told me that, but I don't think I believe you."

"What do you mean you don't believe me?" Leah couldn't help but to get immediately defensive; it was what she was used to. "You calling me liar, Black?"

"Yeah, I think I am,  _Clearwater_ ," He snapped back. "I know you _want_  me because I can smell it whenever we're together and it drives me insane, but it's like the only time you want anything to do with me is when we're fucking."

"That's not true," Leah shook her head.

"We've slept together twice and both time's you couldn't wait to leave. I'm starting to feel like you're using me."

His voice hand a hint of hurt in it that made Leah feel like hugging him. Instead, she let go of him and hugged herself, taking a moment to put her jumbled, repressed thoughts into words. "I like you Jake, I wasn't lying, but I'm fucking scared, okay?"

"Scared of what?" He sounded skeptical, and it pissed her off, but she grit her teeth and kept talking.

"I'm scared that it not real! Look, I've always thought you were kinda cute," She ignored the ghost of a smirk that crept up on his face, "then you phased and got kinda hot, but it was nothing major, no big deal. Then I go into heat and I'm thinking about you all the time, I'm having fucking wet dreams about you, just standing next to you right now is diving me crazy because all I wanna do is rip your clothes off!

"I don't like not having a choice, Jake, I  _hate_ it. It's why I couldn't be mad at-" Sam and Emily. Leah tried to push the names out of her mouth, but couldn't manage it, "I couldn't be mad at them, not really. I tried so hard to hate them and blame them but I couldn't because it  _wasn't their choice!_

"I never asked for this, none of us did. I'm tired of some ancient supernatural bullshit dictating my life, Jake, so if this happens it needs to be my choice, I need it to be  _real."_

The silence rang minutes after she had spoke. She listened to the chirping of crickets in the distance nervously as she waited for him to speak.

"It is real."

Leah didn't know what she expected him to say, but it wasn't that. "How do you know? How  _can_  you know?"

"Because I know how I feel. I love Bella." The words were like a punch to her gut, but Jake continued before she could get lost in the feeling. "Or loved her, I don't know, it's complicated. I never imprinted on her, and I used to wish I did, because maybe then people would believe my feelings for her, stop saying 'you're young, you don't know what love is'.

He rolled his eyes. "I hate people trying to tell me how I feel, as if I'm too stupid to figure it out myself."

"I wasn't trying to make you feel stupid-," Leah started.

"I know, it's fine. But I  _did_  love Bella. She was the first thing I thought of when I woke up, when I wasn't with her I wanted to be, it was everything the others said imprinting was like, everything I saw in their heads. Now I feel all that about you."

He closed the distance Leah had put between them and grabbed her by the shoulders. She tilted her head back to stare him in the eye and she could see,  _feel,_ that his words were true. She bit her lip as he continued.

"I think about  _you_  when I wake up, I wanna spend time with  _you_. I wanna get to know you better, even though I've known you my whole life. And yeah, all this started with your heat, and my wolf yells at me damn near every second of the day to do all those things, but I still fell like doing them on my own. I  _want_  to. And  _that's_  how I know this is real."

His hands moved up to frame her face, she fought the urge to push him away.

"I know you're scared, and I am too, but I wanna do this with you. At least until your heat's over. If we feel different at the end then we can go back to how things were."

Leah held his gaze for what felt like forever, biting her lower lip to keep it from trembling. Finally, she stepped back, watching his hands as they hovered in the place where her face was, before falling to his side. "Okay."

She turned quickly, heading towards her house before he could say anything. She needed to go home, needed to think about someway to convince her self that they weren't in too deep already.

That there was some way they could possibly go back to how things were.

* * *

She had the dream again, the one about the boy whose face she couldn't see, except this time it was  _just_  his face.

Jake.

It was so obvious it was him all along she felt stupid now, and the fact that there was nothing overtly sexual about the dream, but she still ended up getting off from it made her feel pathetic. It was just him, talking, almost pleading with her to "do this with him". He was just so earnest and hopeful, something about it was so sexy Leah had to grab a fistful of her hair just to keep her hands from straying beneath the covers. This shit had to stop.

_You know how to make it stop…_

_Yeah,_  she answered, _I know._

If she went to find Jake, whether he was at home, on the beach, hell, she didn't even think him being in a church would stop her from jumping him. And she would feel better, for a while at least, until the guilt set in. Everyone, him included, kept saying that his age didn't matter but it  _did._  He's just a kid, she was only 20, he should be focused on high school and she should be stressed out over college.

But instead they're fighting vampires, leading werewolf packs, and surviving heat cycles.

Leah sighed and forced herself out of bed, deciding to take a nice cold shower to calm herself down. She grabbed her clothes and headed to the bathroom, bumping into Seth in her doorway.

"Damn it, Seth!"

"Sorry," He said, as he bent to retrieve her fallen clothes, handing them to her with a smirk. "I was coming to wake you up, I was getting tired of waiting."

"Waiting for what?"

"Dude, it's noon. Jake said to head to his house whenever you woke up, but that was  _four hours ago_! I was getting bored."

Leah hadn't realized it was that late; she hadn't meant to sleep in that long. "What did he want?" Seeing Jake was the opposite of what she felt like doing today.

"He said we needed to have a pack meeting," Seth shrugged, "he didn't say about what. Don't you know, though? You guys are dating."

She ignored his question. "We are  _not_ dating. I mean… we might be? Whatever, I don't wanna talk about this with you."

"Trust me," he said with a look of mild disgust, "neither do I. Just hurry up so we can go. I bet there's not even gonna be food..."

Leah rolled her eyes at her little brother and quickly made her way into the bathroom.

_What's the hurry? it's almost like you're excited to see him or something…_

_Shut up._

She rushed through her shower, ignoring her wolf's gloating.

* * *

"I knew there wasn't gonna be food," Seth grumbled under his breath as he plopped down next to her on the sofa. He had raided the Black's kitchen and had only returned with a half a bag of chips. "There was always food at Sam-  _Emily's_  house."

"Shut up, Seth." Leah tried to tune him out in favor of listening to Jake in the other room. He was on the phone with Jared, Paul and Quil.

"Because I said so. I don't care, I don't want you guys around her." Leah felt the familiar chill run down her spine as she thought of  _them._  She wondered if she would ever be able to look at them the same way.

"Look, I know none of this is you guy's fault, it's not anyone's fault, but as soon as you're close enough to catch her scent you're not gonna be yourselves. Stay there, and stay on the line."

"You okay?" Leah jumped slightly, she had forgotten Embry was next to her. She still wasn't ready to face the rest of the pack, didn't know if she ever would be, and she couldn't hold her sigh of relief as Jake walked back into the room. They made eye contact immediately, Leah smiling slightly in a silent thank you. He smiled back before putting on his "alpha face."

"Alright," he said, putting his phone, Leah noted that he got a new one and made a mental note to get one too, on speaker and setting it on the table, "I'm just gonna get to the point; early this morning Emily and Mrs. Uley left La Push."

A voice spoke through the phone after a couple seconds of silence. Paul. Leah bit her bottom lip "So? What does that have to do with us?"

"Yeah, and can you blame her?" Jared. Leah clenched her fists, letting her nails dig into her palms. "You killed her fiance, I would leave too."

Leah watched as Jake's jaw clenched. "They know too much. You all saw the scene Emily caused at the funeral, we can't take the risk of her spilling our secrets."

"So you want us to find them?" Embry said with a raised eyebrow. "I get that they might talk, but...who'd believe them?"

"Yeah, Jake," Seth said around a mouthful of chips, "Werewolves and Vampires? If someone had told me all the legends were true before I phased I would have thought they were crazy. I say we just leave them alone."

"No." Jake quieted the sounds of agreement in the room. "I wasn't asking. But I don't want you guys to do anything,  _I'm_ going to find them."

"By yourself?"

"No," Jake answered Embry without looking at him, his eyes were on her. "Leah's going with me."

She could feel Seth and Embry's eyes on either side of her head but she kept her gaze firmly on Jake.

"Yeah, two people she'll be  _dying_  to see." Leah could almost see Paul rolling his eyes.

Jake's nostrils flared; he was starting to get frustrated "Look, this isn't a discussion. it's my duty to protect this tribe, so I'mgoing after them, and there's no way in hell I'm leaving Leah around any of you, so she's coming with me." He took a deep breath before continuing. "Embry, I'm leaving you in charge while we're gone."

"Me?" Embry said, at the same time Jared yelled, "Him?"

"You've got to be kidding me," Jared continued, as Embry started to slowly sink lower into the couch, "Why would you put  _him_  in charge? I was Sam's beta, it should be me! Sam would have never-"

"Well Sam's not here!" The boom of his voice echoed through out the room. The silence rang as he tried to get a hold of himself. Leah wanted to got to him, but kept herself in her seat. Finally, after what felt like ages, he spoke.

"I'm the alpha now, not anyone else, me. It doesn't matter what you think or how you feel because  _I_ _'m_  the one in charge. I don't think we'll be gone long, so keep the patrol schedule I came up with, but if anything comes up, follow Embry's lead. That's an order."

He moved to grab his phone, pausing when a voice called out. "Jake, wait! Don't hang up."

Quil's voice was the hardest for Leah to hear, because she didn't know how to feel about him. The others scared her, and that was reasonable considering what they had tried do to her, but Quil just made her feel guilty. The last time she had seen him, at the funeral, Leah could see the outline of bandages under his button up. With as fast as they heal, the fact that he was still wounded meant that Leah really did a number on him.

_He deserved it,_  her wolf hissed,  _you were defending yourself. You have absolutely_ nothing _to feel guilty over._

_I know!_

But knowing that she shouldn't feel guilty didn't make her feel less guilty, it made her angry. And she had to fight to control that anger as she listened to him speak.

"Leah, are you there? Leah, look, I just want to say I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, you know that right?" He sounded so upset; it infuriated her. He didn't get to be upset, none of them did. "I didn't mean to, I promise It wasn't my fault. You gotta forgive me, Leah, please!"

And that was all she could take. Leah stormed out of the house, running into the woods until she couldn't hear his pleading words anymore.

It wasn't long before Jake was there, his hand hovering in the space between them, wanting to touch her but not doing so, like he was afraid she'd snap at him if he did.

And she might have.

"I don't have to forgive him," She said, "I don't have to forgive  _any_  of them."

"No, You don't."

"I don't have to forgive  _you_  either."

"I know," He said softly.

"When are we leaving?"

"Tonight. I'll pick you up at 8, we'll leave then"

"Fine." Leah walked away, feeling the urge to phase but deciding against it, wanting to keep her thoughts to herself for the time being. She walked home, longing for the solitude of her bedroom. She didn't want to deal with people for the next few hours.

Maybe she would take a nap.

* * *

_God, that was such a great nap._

Leah had got home and headed straight for her bed. The anger had really taken a lot out her and she fell asleep almost immediately. There were no pesky dreams to distract her, just four hours of nothing. It was amazing.

_Well I'm glad you enjoyed yourself._

She wished she had stayed out for longer, because after she had packed a bag, about a weeks worth of clothes to be safe, but hopefully she wouldn't be gone that long, she had nothing to do but twiddle her thumbs until Jake got there.

She sighed deeply when she heard Jake's car pull into her driveway. She grabbed her bag and half of her savings, a whopping 200$, and headed downstairs. Her mom and Seth were waiting for her at the door.

"Is this really necessary? I'm not going to prom you guys, it's not that big of a deal."

"Yeah, tell me about it," Seth said, ignoring the glare Sue gave him. "Here, take this." He handed her his cellphone. "So mom can stalk you without having to go through Jake."

"Thanks, Seth."

"Yeah, no problem. Just don't look at my pictures okay? Wait, let me have it back for a sec..."

She handed it with an eye roll as her mom stepped closer. "Be careful, Leah."

"I will, mom. We're just going to find them and bring them back, it'll be fine."

Sue didn't look so sure, but she nodded and pulled Leah into a long hug. A horn honked outside.

"I'm coming," She grit out. Seth handed her back his phone and pulled her into a shorter, but just as loving hug of his own.

"Come back."

"I will."

She left the house, making her way to Jake's rabbit and making sure to glare at him the whole way. She looked back at her family standing on the porch and gave them one last smile before she got in. As Jake pulled off, Leah turned to put her bag in the backseat, using it as an excuse to watch them through the rear window.

"We won't be gone long," Jake said. Leah ignored him, turning to slump in her seat.

They drove in silence as they made their way out of La push. It was the awkward kind of silence. Leah turned on the radio, and Jake turned it down a little. Leah turned it  _all_  the way up, and Jake turned it off.

"What is your problem?"

"What's  _your_  problem?" They were just outside of Forks, Jake pulled to the side of the road, hitting the breaks hard enough that Leah flew forward and hit the dashboard.

_That's why you're supposed to wear a seat belt…_

"My problem is that I have to be stuck in this shitty little car with  _you_  for who knows how long!"

"Well I'm sorry, your highness," he yelled back in her face, turning the car off, "my limo's in the shop, so you'll just have to deal with my 'shitty little car' for a while!"

She glared at him, fuming, and he glared back. "I give up."

"Give up what-"

Leah cut him off by smashing her face into his, her tongue finding it's way to his. She managed to crawl her way over the armrests and into his lap, not an easy feat in a Volkswagen, grinding her crotch into his. He growled low in his throat and grabbed two handfuls of her ass as she clawed at his hair. She was lost in the feeling of his big body under hers and the smell of his scent engulfing her in the small space that she didn't notice time passing.

But she did notice the tapping on the window next to their heads.

Her eyes snapped open and she looked out past the seat at the police cruiser, lights flashing, parked behind them. Shit. How had they not heard it pull up?

She turned her head to the driver side widow as Jake reach between her thigh and rolled the window down. She couldn't hold back an amused snort as the officer bent down to lean into the car.

Because, of course, it had to be Charlie fucking Swan.

Here we go.

 


End file.
